Visitors…

Yesterday after my whinge I got stuck into the housework and got the house all nice  for my visitors. Today I have walked the dogs………then bathed the dogs due to an “accidental” incident involving seagull poo!!!  I have been up to the supermarket and grabbed some things….the important stuff like mixers for the top shelf 🙂  All is in readiness….  I am really quite excited!! Of course I took them here…………

Yesterday didn’t let me down.  Had a lovely drive around with”Basil’s Blue Light Coach Tours” for an hour or two.  A lovely sunny winters day. We had fish and chips for tea….. a good day.

Now my friends are off on a harbour cruise that I managed to get them on.  They will be back around 3pm.  Nice for them to have some “alone” time together and I am preparing a nice dinner.  I have asked a couple of friends from here also, to mix it up a bit conversation and company wise.  Mostly I can pre-prepare everything…..so then I can just relax with a drink and have a chat until it is time to serve up!  Looking forward to it 🙂

It is Thursday now and my visitors have headed off.  I have totally enjoyed their visit.  I was a little disappointed that I had this damn cold and felt a bit under par for the duration…..but still, loved their company.  We had two sunny days which has been quite rare here lately!  Today it is back to rain again….. so we couldn’t have ordered better.  I will leave you with a couple of pictures from the last couple of days……

Looking down the valley to the mining town of Queenstown from halfway up Gormanston Hill

This one is looking up the other way from the same spot

Myself & my friend Sue, who lives here in Strahan, at the lookout halfway between Strahan and Queenstown

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Sunday………..

I never feel full lately….. just uncomfortable.  Doesn’t matter what I have I just don’t feel that satisfied feeling.  I either feel pain and maybe spew a bit up and then just feel uncomfortable and miserable for a while…….or I eat a slider food and feel guilty, guilty, guilty and still hungry anyway!!!  It isn’t helping that I am not losing weight. I feel like a bloody failure and that I might as well have the band out and get stuck in to a decent meal and give myself something to really feel guilty about!!!!!!  I don’t know…. it is a lot of bloody mucking around for a measely 20kgs or so.  Sure, I look and feel better so far…..but I have so much further to go and it is really starting to get me down…….. 

Ricky is still sick with this cold/flu thing and has just recovered from a bout of vomiting and the runs thrown in for good measure.  I have a headache, sore throat and feel pretty shitty myself.  I have guests coming tomorrow for three nights……please don’t let me get the 24hr vomit thing!!!!!!!!  I can cope with the sore throat and headache….but not the vomiting.  I am really, really looking forward to their visit.  Another lapbander who I have made great friends with in recent times and who I feel I have known all my life!!  It might do me good to have a good talk to her and get this shit off my liver!!!!  She is an inspiration and has lost over 50kgs.  What a woman!!!!!!

It is raining, cold and windy and terrible here today.  Our yard is nearly under water and the stupid heaters in this house are just not enough to cope with the really cold weather……bloody landlords!!  Bloody police department renting this bloody house off the bloody stingy landlord!!!!!!!!  My mood is a good match for the weather

We will have to put some floaties on Scarlett so she can have a poo soon!!

I feel bad having a whinge about the state of our wet yard when I have just seen the damage the earthquake has done in New Zealand….  and my thoughts do go out to my blogging and facebook buddies across the ditch!!

It is Father’s Day here and I have rung my Dad and told him how much I love him.  He got his present a little early last time I went up to visit.  I am so blessed to have a wonderful Dad like mine, and indeed, to still have him here with me.  I know there are many of you out there that have lost their Dad’s.  I don’t want to think about that for now…..I am just so, so grateful that mine is about and I can ring him and tell him I love him 🙂

A bit of a bleak post for a bleak day…..oh well…..we all have those I suppose.  Guess I’ll just have to put on my big girls blouse and deal with it!!

Diary….

 I thought I might do a diary entry each day or two as a blog post.  I forget what I have done and how I am feeling, so putting a little bit on here each day might be the go.  I am pretty sure it has everything to do with being 50 and nothing to do with being busy as to the reason I can’t remember what I have done! I will then publish it each couple of days………  I know…..brilliant!! 🙂  If I keep it up that is……………………………..

Yesterday (Thurs 2nd) was a terrible, terrible day between me and my guts and head.  I just could not stop eating.  I ate what they refer to in bandland as “slider” foods.  You know, I have had the band nearly two years now and I am only just starting to hear some of these terms and know what they mean and “getting” some of the stuff I hear others talk about!  Well, slider food is just what it sounds like really…..food that slides down through the band easilly without having to chew it to smithereens first…..  nice and effortless and mindless and 99 out of a 100 times it is FATTENING!!!!  I was home alone yesterday and last night….  but I wasn’t bored.  I always have plenty to do.  Maybe if Ricky had been here I wouldn’t have eaten what I did because I would have been embarrassed.  I can’t explain it…….I just have to eat.  Until I feel uncomfortably full.  Even then I still look around and see what else there is I could scoff.  Why, why, why??????? 

Because I keep a “safe” house…..most of the time, there wasn’t much “shit” to eat.  But still I gave it my best shot 🙂  I am trying to remember what I ate…..  when I sit and try and remember the next day I feel so ashamed….and a little bamboozled to be honest.  I don’t understand what comes over me and why I feel I have to eat so much?  It’s like I become obsessed.  I need that full feeling?  I need a sugar rush?  I need a dairy rush? … stuffed if I bloody know!!  One thing I know….I cannot have cream in the house.  It takes over my thoughts until I know it is gone.  Go figure……….     I brought a container of thickened cream because I had intentions of making a lemon slice that required this as an ingredient.  I never got to make the slice because I plastered a third of the container on my morning porridge….with sugar!  Then I had another bowl for morning tea…..same.  Then I had another bowl for lunch…..same.  And….later last night I had another bowl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yesterday was all about the cream.  Anaylise that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  🙂

Actually don’t….I wouldn’t want you doing your heads in!  I am quite happy working through my “issues” solo.  After all….I have done so up until this point.  Today I am in “regret” mode.  Or “why” mode…..or just plain…” well fark me …wipe that day!”mode.  I’m leaning towards the last one 🙂  So today is a new day.  What else can you bloody do really?  Oh, there was much more inbetween my porridge and cream fest.  Oh yes…. much more.  Without the band …  of course I would have still given it my best shot and just ate more solid shit!!!  With the band…… you can still go down the shitter with your slider foods……..    you are still going to have your “head spin” days.  No getting around it.  The people that don’t lose any weight after having a band and continue to put weight on really must have huge “head issues”.  I don’t think mine are that bad…….  I just need to find some discipline from somewhere on the odd occassion.  And not keep CREAM in the house!!! 

Today I have had a fruit smoothie on my return from the dog walk.  I just had a glass of water and a coffee.  I am about to have another coffee and I intend to have a modifast shake for my lunch.  I will be doing an extra walk later this evening to try and counter the damage I did yesterday…..  and a few other days lately, just quietly .  Time I got myself back on track!!  I have been a ditzy tart lately.  I have been lucky enough to be in a position where I could have a lapband to give me a hand with my weight issues……  time I appreciated that fact and start working with it not against it.

My next big hurdle comes at 1pm today…………………………   BLOODY WORK IN A LOLLIE SHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am home from work.  I did OK.  I got busy when I arrived at 11am.  Not with customers….but I made myself busy.  I took some photos for my boss ready to email him and bagged up some bits and pieces.  One piece of fudge went into my mouth before I thought about it!!  I had my Optifast.  I had also brought an Optifast bar with me.  I chopped that up into little pieces and just had a little piece of that every now and then throughout the afternoon……that seemed to work.  I also sat a bottle of water on the bench and forced myself to drink that over the course of the afternoon. I am pretty happy with how I went.  I think I have put the brakes on myself before I got too carried away……..  I might send this photo to the boss…..

Bored much??!! lol lol

 Ricky returned from Burnie with a small Kentucky Fried chicken popcorn for me to have for my tea…….bless him!!  I had asked him to bring it back if he was going to get himself something….but I had forgotten that request.  Anyhooooo….I had probably 4 pieces and it hurt like hell…..the “chipmunk cheeks” thing started and I spewed it up.  Hmmmmm…still feel hungry.  Now this next bit I am very, very proud of.  You see, I forgot to mention that there was still about a third of the cream left in the fridge!!  🙂  I can’t begin to tell you the mental tussel I just had with myself.  Cereal smothered with cream for tea….just to use it up you understand?  Once it is gone I wont get anymore…blah, blah….head talk, head talk.  You know what I just did???  I got up….went to the fridge….got the cream out….and………………………  tipped it down the farking sink!!!!!!   Thank you….thank you very much “:)  🙂

I am sitting here at my computer feeling very full and satisfied having half completed a smoothie with raspberries, banana, soy milk and yoghurt. Ricky has gone off to fight crime and corruption and I might have an early night and read a book in bed before I go to sleep 🙂

Happy Birthday Mum……

It’s my gorgeous Mum’s birthday today (30th Aug) …..  happy birthday Mum!!  How old doesn’t seem to matter … (I think she is 69).  She is never sure herself and it certainly doesn’t faze her!! How do I tell her exactly how much I love her? I mean, I have told her I love her on many occassions, but it just never seems a big enough word for how I feel about her. I think of Mum and I think of how very, very fortunate I am to have a Mum like her. We share the same month birthday wise…but not the same star sign.  I think we are very different……and yet……very alike.  I can’t imagine my life without my Mum in it.  She is my rock …………… and she rocks!! 🙂

I don’t think she realises how clever she is at so many things and how proud she makes me feel with the accolades she receives for her writing and other things.  She is so classy with how she dresses and always looks so up to date and dresses beautifully…… except the odd “bag lady” moments around the house!! lol  lol  Myself and Karen are always helpfully honest in pointing this out 🙂  She is not so “up herself” that she wouldn’t receive visitors in her housework clothes though….. I love that.  “If they don’t like it then they wont come back then, will they?!! ” She is a housework maniac!  Loves a shiny floor does my Mum 🙂 

My Mum is…………………………….a computer nerd:  she did a course to find out how a computer works inside. Over the years she has become our computer tech head.  Any problems….and I mean any problem from virus erradication to printer problems, we ring our family computer tech….. She “sets up” her pensioner friends on their computers and then spends countless hours teaching them how to use it.  She is then like their free, on call, computer whizz…and they do call !

Writer:  she has been published in the Readers Digest and many short story anthologies.  She is sought after in Tasmania to give talks etc to different groups on writing and is a member of this and that all over the place to do with her writing. She gives her time to many organisations, running little poetry and writing workshops for them.  For instance, the local aged care home.She has won countless competitions for short stories and poetry.  She takes workshops.  She chases us around the house and forces us to sit and listen to her latest story . We stir her and let out load moans and screams of protest if we have to “endure” sitting and listening to another story……. but we really are very, very proud of her 🙂 She puts comments on my blog longer than my bloody post was!!

Cheersquad:  She has always told me I can do anything I want! Has always been supportive of all my crackpot dreams and ideas.  She has always told me I am beautiful.  Has come along for the lapband ride with me and supported me all the way because it is what I wanted to do.  She has given me confidence.  In the most dire of situations and fashion disasters she always finds something good for me to focus on.  I could look like I had just been dragged through a blackberry bush backwards and she would cast her eye over me and say, “That colour in you hair looks lovely when the sun hits it”.

Photographer:  She loves her camera!!  She always has it shoved in someones face!  Drives us nuts with it.  “No wait!!   Don’t move….go back there. Do that again….oh, please!”

Fisherwoman: She is really good!!  Annoyingly good…..well, to Dad anyway.  I think perhaps she may have caught more trout than Dad….but who’s counting, right Mum??  Well, he needs to remember that your fishing trips would not be as enjoyable if it wasn’t for the expert way you pack that thermos and cake!!

Dog Lover:  She loves her dog quite possibly more than she loves us!!   * enough said  *  🙂  No really, she carries a brag book in her handbag with Alice the dog shots in it………and not one of us!!!!   lol   lol  She has my sister’s dog, Gloria, every work day in doggy day care while Karen works and enquires about my two and their health long before she will think to enquire about mine!  lol

Style Queen: I always think Mum looks amazing.  She never does the “mutton dressed as lamb” thing, although her penchant for glittery and shiney things has been a tad worrying in recent times!  She has always taken care of herself and looked beautiful.  Every night she puts moisturiser cream on her feet while she sits in her chair and her toenails are always nicely polished. She always smells delicious and has never smoked.  She has legs to die for!!  Her make-up is just right and not too much. I love her hair.  Naturally wavey and a quick blow dry and a squirt of hairspray sees her right.  She spent time with us in some wonderful childhood and teenage-hood moments, teaching us how to apply eyeshadow and paint our nails so we didn’t get “globs” and things like that. Perfect mother, daughter memories. 

Memory Maker:  There is not one moment growing up that I don’t want to remember.  Mum made my dancing costumes, she sat up into the early morning hours sewing whole outfits for my beloved dolls for “Santa to leave” . Frilly little pants, petticoats, dresses, coats, hats…..I adored those dolls clothes!!  The best Christmas present ever.  Mary and Princess got dressed and undressed in those outfits many, many times. She scratched my head while we watched TV.  To this day I still love someone scratching my head or touching my hair……  I have always felt safe and happy in her presence. Who could ask for more of their mother? 

Shrink:  And let’s not even begin to try and estimate how many “dramas” she has mediated and “fixed” throughout my life!!  Career, relationships, finance etc etc.  Let’s just say I have kept her very busy in that department 🙂

I could just go on and on and on!!!  So many stories ….. so much laughter and love.  Heaps of tears too don’t worry….. but Mum could usually put things back into perspective and quell my worries. 

So, have a happy birthday Mum.  Don’t forget you got your present early!! Don’t try playing the dementia card and saying I didn’t get you anything 🙂  So medicate and take it easy today……no wait!!!!…….  that’s me 🙂     xxxxx

Goddess Gallery…………

Beautiful lake, boat, thermos mugs, cake, silly hats....let's go fishing!

She is a multi tasker!! Cornered us to hear a story and has her camera in the other hand!!

On the beach with our step-sister, Alice 🙂

Style Queen! Dad, you are a lucky guy 🙂

Oh, and Mum……..  I still have the vase……for now 🙂    (This is a whole other story. I might tell you next post!)

****  Happy Birthday also to my blogging friend, Anne who is going through a rough time at the moment…..thinking of you today and every day.

I’m back & rested….

Hi everyone  🙂

I have had my little rest and I think I am all the better for it.  Blogging was becoming a chore and I didn’t want it to feel like that.  I wanted to want to blog….. ya know?  So, I am pretty bored with Crackbook and the fact it won’t let me prattle on for more than so many characters etc….that sucks!  I have done a bit of housekeeping on here and condensed my pages a little.  I have kept the Fluid and Mushie pages for new lapbanders that might like to refer to them.  My blogging is not focusing on the band so much these days……but I will definitely do the odd band report!

I hope you have noticed that I have done a new winter themed header?????  I took that yesterday 27th Aug when we stopped for a pee on the way back to Strahan from Devonport.  A beautiful winter wonderland with fresh, fluffy snow……but these two were more interested in the bloody possum poo under the bush!!  Oh well, I got a good bum shot…..and you know how I love my puppies bums 🙂

This happened while I was gone also………………………………..

Bugger……………………………………………………………………  🙂

After spending nearly an hour removing all the candles from the cake…..Nola deveoped a nasty stitch in her side!!  🙂

I had a lovely suprise dinner.  I knew a couple of friends were coming….but I didn’t know they would have 50 plastered over every available surface at the venue and I would be required to wear a badge and a 50 crown just in case strangers missed the serviettes, balloon, glass etc!!  lol  lol  I had a great night and got very spoilt. That was on the 15th Aug … so I have had some time to recover…..

We are certainly in the depths of our winter here!  Today is a miserable day with hail and wind and very cold….about 10 degrees celcius today I think!  I start work in a couple of hours and, as you can see, I am filling in my time constructively by getting back into my blog!  I spent a few days with my sister who lives in Devonport….about 3hrs drive North of here.  I did a little retail therapy and a lot of laughing. I just made it back here before we got snowed in.  Strahan doesn’t exactly get snow on the ground because we are so coastal, but all the hills that surround us and the two roads out to the major towns/city to the North and South East of us get closed due to heavy snow falls.  I heard on the radio they have been closed today.  Here are some photos that I took travelling up and again coming back yesterday for your viewing enjoyment 🙂

This is the Stitt River at Rosebery…..about one third of my way to Devonport.  I fell over here!!  I had taken this photo and the dogs were happy peeing on everything.  I went to walk back up towards the car and down I went in the moss 😦  It bloody hurt too!  I was saturated and covered in moss, so I used the dogs towels to wipe myself down.  I was just grateful I didn’t hurt my back, break me or my camera!

Our stop on the way back….the toilet block and rest area near Waratah.  We couldn’t stay long here…..it started snowing really heavilly.  A truck driver pulled in going the other way and he told me the road was clear….so I loaded up the dogs and pushed on.  I was considering turning around and going back to Burnie at this point to stay with Ricky’s parents. 

The rest area again…….just beautiful.

So, this will do for now and I promise to blog regularly from now on.  I have been skulking about reading your blogs lately and leaving the odd comment……..how is Coco and her peeing, Chris?  🙂  I enjoy the blog community and I have missed it after only one month away!!

A little rest ……………

Hi all,

I had a great time in Fiji and it was just what the doctor ordered 🙂 

 I have decided to have a rest from blogging.  Probably not for very long….. but I thought I would let you know.  No reason really.  I just feel like a break from blogging for a while.  I will still be coming in here regularly and reading and commenting on everyone elses of course! 

I do go on Facebook everyday.  If you want to keep in touch over the winter you should be able to find me by searching nolam.  All my Fiji photos are on there also…….so you can look on there, Mark!!  You are already my Facebook friend 🙂 Just put a little note saying you are a blog follower or whatever if you send a friend request. 

So……  that’s it for a little while.  I am going to do more craft and walking!!  Having said that……..if there IS another rodent incident, or similar, I WILL be coming straight on here to let you know 🙂

Before I go………..

Bula!! 🙂

Two more sleeps and we will be in Fiji.  But for now I am sitting here in my loungeroom sipping coffee and typing this while I wait for it to be time to get ready for work.  I suspect other people would be still in bed at this time on a Sunday morning if they had any sense!  It is quite cold here….maybe 6 degrees by the feel of it and will probably get up to about 12 degrees through the day.  Heater weather from now on that’s for sure!  I don’t mind the winter but I am always glad to welcome the summer around again! We had quite a heavy frost in our yard last week which is unusual because we are so close to the sea but still we get the most fantastic sunsets…………..       this is taken from near my clothesline in the backyard……

My band is still tight.  I worry that I am not eating enough red meat or iron rich foods.  I think when I get back from holidays I will have my doctor check my iron levels and start supplements if I need them.  I do seem to be more tired than usual…… but then……  I could just be feeling tired and need this holiday and it could have nothing to do with that.  I take multi vitamins and fish oil tablets plus vitamin D boosted calcium tablets.  I also have to take my celebrex anti inflammatory tabs and hormone tabs every morning…….no wonder I can’t fit any breakfast in first up!!  I rarely have breakfast these days actually.  The last few weeks I have been having an Up & Go or Optifast smoothie with yoghurt and Benefibre thrown in about 10am.  On work days like today I will have that just before I go and then have my cup a soups through the day and maybe some salada crackers with vegemite or something like that. 

Before this last fill I could eat salada crackers all day constantly with no problems if I wanted.  Now I very, very slowly nibble maybe two (half the big square) and then I have to stop and it hurts a bit if I am not careful and go slow and chew like a mad woman!  BUT….. of course………….  lollies and chocolate and other shitty foods go down so easily!!!   Why is that!!!???  I do wonder really, because the biscuits kind of disolve in your mouth before you swallow them like a piece of chocolate or a lolly does……but it seems to “reform” or glug back together in your stomach whereas chocolate and similar must stay in liquid form and slide through the band easily?  I think that may be why…….

If I drink straight after a food like the “gluggy” biscuits ( just one sip of coffee for instance)  it seems to just sit on top of the biscuit in the stomach and more often than not, that is when I have to go and spew it up.  It is the strangest feeling……sometimes no pain at all accompanies this……  just a build up of phlem right back behind my back teeth and then I just have to open my mouth and out the last thing I ate comes!!  No effort….no heaving….just open up and out it comes.  And it is not everything I just ate usually……just the last mouthful.  I am mostly glad of this because it means that some food has got through the gatekeeper and is doing it’s thing!  It must sound terrible to a non-bander….. but it really isn’t as bad as it sounds.  Strangely it is something you get used to in a way….

So, anyway, that is where I stand bandwise at the moment.  I am not sure how I will go on holidays.  I am not too worried ….  I know I can live on fruit smoothies at the ice-cream place at the resort and I have packed optifast and my shaker for a protein hit.  Yoghurt will probably be my friend at the breakfast buffet and I will have yoghurt and vitamin water and things like that in the fridge in my room.  Or I may just survive on banana based alcoholic cocktails for two weeks!!!  🙂  I have packed special tablets to stop vomiting if I was to catch a “bug”.  That would be my biggest fear whilst overseas…..uncontrolled vomiting.  But….if we worried about this sort of thing we would never go anywhere.  I have packed a little first aid kit to quell this sort of thing and I will forget about it now and just enjoy myself!!

So, it will be a few weeks before I post again.  I will have plenty of photos and stories for you on my return I am sure 🙂

Stay safe and well my friends………………………………….