I never feel full lately….. just uncomfortable.  Doesn’t matter what I have I just don’t feel that satisfied feeling.  I either feel pain and maybe spew a bit up and then just feel uncomfortable and miserable for a while…….or I eat a slider food and feel guilty, guilty, guilty and still hungry anyway!!!  It isn’t helping that I am not losing weight. I feel like a bloody failure and that I might as well have the band out and get stuck in to a decent meal and give myself something to really feel guilty about!!!!!!  I don’t know…. it is a lot of bloody mucking around for a measely 20kgs or so.  Sure, I look and feel better so far…..but I have so much further to go and it is really starting to get me down…….. 

Ricky is still sick with this cold/flu thing and has just recovered from a bout of vomiting and the runs thrown in for good measure.  I have a headache, sore throat and feel pretty shitty myself.  I have guests coming tomorrow for three nights……please don’t let me get the 24hr vomit thing!!!!!!!!  I can cope with the sore throat and headache….but not the vomiting.  I am really, really looking forward to their visit.  Another lapbander who I have made great friends with in recent times and who I feel I have known all my life!!  It might do me good to have a good talk to her and get this shit off my liver!!!!  She is an inspiration and has lost over 50kgs.  What a woman!!!!!!

It is raining, cold and windy and terrible here today.  Our yard is nearly under water and the stupid heaters in this house are just not enough to cope with the really cold weather……bloody landlords!!  Bloody police department renting this bloody house off the bloody stingy landlord!!!!!!!!  My mood is a good match for the weather

We will have to put some floaties on Scarlett so she can have a poo soon!!

I feel bad having a whinge about the state of our wet yard when I have just seen the damage the earthquake has done in New Zealand….  and my thoughts do go out to my blogging and facebook buddies across the ditch!!

It is Father’s Day here and I have rung my Dad and told him how much I love him.  He got his present a little early last time I went up to visit.  I am so blessed to have a wonderful Dad like mine, and indeed, to still have him here with me.  I know there are many of you out there that have lost their Dad’s.  I don’t want to think about that for now…..I am just so, so grateful that mine is about and I can ring him and tell him I love him 🙂

A bit of a bleak post for a bleak day…..oh well…..we all have those I suppose.  Guess I’ll just have to put on my big girls blouse and deal with it!!


7 thoughts on “Sunday………..

  1. Sounds like you have a tad bit of cabin fever 🙂 Spring is just around the corner and things will get better.

    I have had a few rough band spots just keep trying to figure out the next step. Usually it was something that i needed to too much ice cream or not chewing enough or trying to eat just one bite too many during a meal. Sometimes it took me ages to figure it out while others it would slap me across the face pretty quickly.

    wishing you sunshine and your doggies a dried out yard 🙂


  2. Hope you don’t get that horrible vomiting bug…
    Here’s hoping your fellow lapbander wil have some good ideas for you….enjoy your visit.

  3. First of all – you aren’t a failure!!! Sounds like you will get support from your lapbander friend.

    I think this weather is getting every one down – our farm looks like a lake!

  4. You’re not a failure. This is a really, really hard process. The band is a great tool, yes, but (at least for me) doesn’t address the addictive aspect of my eating. I’m stuck right now – eating too much and seemingly unable to quit the carbs. I feel like a failure too, but all any of us can do is get up and try again.

  5. Holy cow! Now I see what you mean by you’re under water.. the poor dogs…..and poor you and Rick.
    I have nominated you for an award! Maybe it will make you feel a little better (haha highly doubtful) but at least you know I love ya!!
    Get well soon, grumpy chops. xxxx

  6. Dear Nola!
    Good to se you back in the world of blogging. You. Are. NOT. a. failure!!
    It is hard. We all know that. Just reading a few of my posts, you can see that!! 🙂
    Thank you for the lovely comment!! I am planning to go and do pump tonight at the gym too!!
    Being on school holidays is hard for me. I want to graze, and graze and graze!! It’s hard to stop that habbit. I’ve taken up the xbox360 to help cure that! hehe

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