I don’t believe this!!! Now it’s a rodent!! We have had a little mouse problem at the Lolly shop lately. They have been quite discerning critters too!! Only the best chocolates and some wrapped lollies. We have had some baits thrown around in the corners hoping to rid ourselves of this pesky problem. I don’t particularly like mice! I am scared they will run up my leg or something. I think they look cute on the TV and I quite liked Stuart Little the movie…..but I would prefer not to have encounters of the real life kind.
It has been a very quiet day at work today. But, OF COURSE, when I am about to have a drama there was an elderly couple in the shop. I exchanged pleasantries with them and headed back behind my counter. As I rounded the corner I spotted IT out of the corner of my eye. Well, I sort of walked in thin air and did a double step….like John Cleese! I don’t know how I didn’t yell……….but I managed not to! There was now a mouse between me and my only avenue of escape. It was the bloody fattest mouse I have ever seen……. he was definitely the one that has been in the chocolate! He was really slow and a bit dopey, so I assume he had eaten some bait. What to do, what to do!!!????? The couple were busy browsing and had no idea I was in panic mode.
I grabbed a teatowel and threw it over Stuart!! I thought he might think he was in his hole or something in his drugged up state and stay there until I could think of an action plan. I stood over in the other corner as far away as I could from the tea towel. Farking hell…… the tea towel started moving towards me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I grabbed a glance at the couple….still good there….no idea I was about to hyperventilate or faint or bloody both. People….. I am being stalked by a tea towel here……….heeellloooooooo !!!!
I summoned up every ounce of bravery I had and bloody JUMPED the tea towel. That is amazing….. I don’t do jumping 🙂 Reached into the storeroom and grabbed the long handled broom and shovel and then went back to face the tea towel. Still the couple had no idea of the drama unfolding behind the ice-cream machine!! I bunched up the tea towel bit by bit and swept it onto the shovel and held it there for dear life with the broom. Then I tried to walk real casual like out the front door of the shop with the tea towel bunched up in the shovel !! The old bloke did look at me a bit funny then……..why is this woman sweeping up her tea towel….. lol lol lol
I went to the corner of the shop and tipped out the tea towel…… then I grabbed the corner of the tea towel and picked it up!!! How brave is that?! Stuart fell out onto the cement and just looked at me. Bloody little terrorist!! Then I had to race back inside because the customers were in there. Once I had served them and they had gone I went back out to see if Stuart was still there……. he wasn’t.
Then guess what??!!! I went outside later in the afternoon and there was Stuart splattered on the bitumen right at the front door! He must have been on his way back inside and a customer has run over him!!!!! So, once again………I get the shovel and this time Stuart is dumped down the drain grate……………………
RIP Stuart Fatguts………………………..