I just have to tell you…………

I don’t believe this!!! Now it’s a rodent!! We have had a little mouse problem at the Lolly shop lately. They have been quite discerning critters too!! Only the best chocolates and some wrapped lollies. We have had some baits thrown around in the corners hoping to rid ourselves of this pesky problem. I don’t particularly like mice! I am scared they will run up my leg or something. I think they look cute on the TV and I quite liked Stuart Little the movie…..but I would prefer not to have encounters of the real life kind.

It has been a very quiet day at work today. But, OF COURSE, when I am about to have a drama there was an elderly couple in the shop. I exchanged pleasantries with them and headed back behind my counter. As I rounded the corner I spotted IT out of the corner of my eye.  Well, I sort of walked in thin air and did a double step….like John Cleese!  I don’t know how I didn’t yell……….but I managed not to!  There was now a mouse between me and my only avenue of escape.  It was the bloody fattest mouse I have ever seen……. he was definitely the one that has been in the chocolate!  He was really slow and a bit dopey, so I assume he had eaten some bait.  What to do, what to do!!!?????  The couple were busy browsing and had no idea I was in panic mode. 

I grabbed a teatowel and threw it over Stuart!!  I thought he might think he was in his hole or something in his drugged up state and stay there until I could think of an action plan.  I stood over in the other corner as far away as I could from the tea towel.  Farking hell……  the tea towel started moving towards me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I grabbed a glance at the couple….still good there….no idea I was about to hyperventilate or faint or bloody both.  People…..  I am being stalked by a tea towel here……….heeellloooooooo  !!!!

I summoned up every ounce of bravery I had and bloody JUMPED the tea towel.  That is amazing…..  I don’t do jumping 🙂  Reached into the storeroom and grabbed the long handled broom and shovel and then went back to face the tea towel.  Still the couple had no idea of the drama unfolding behind the ice-cream machine!!  I bunched up the tea towel bit by bit and swept it onto the shovel and held it there for dear life with the broom.  Then I tried to walk real casual like out the front door of the shop with the tea towel bunched up in the shovel !!  The old bloke did look at me a bit funny then……..why is this woman sweeping up her tea towel….. lol  lol  lol

I went to the corner of the shop and tipped out the tea towel……  then I grabbed the corner of the tea towel and picked it up!!!  How brave is that?!  Stuart fell out onto the cement and just looked at me.  Bloody little terrorist!!  Then I had to race back inside because the customers were in there.  Once I had served them and they had gone I went back out to see if Stuart was still there……. he wasn’t.

Then guess what??!!!   I went outside later in the afternoon and there was Stuart splattered on the bitumen right at the front door!  He must have been on his way back inside and a customer has run over him!!!!!   So, once again………I get the shovel and this time Stuart is dumped down the drain grate……………………

RIP Stuart Fatguts………………………..


14 thoughts on “I just have to tell you…………

  1. I’m still wiping my eyes… I couldn’t do what you did in a million years. From what you say he definitely had a tummy ache… (Not that I want to worry you, but where there’s one there’s bound to be more, isn’t there???)
    P.S. On the positive side, this may stop you feeling tempted to sample the goods!

  2. Oh lord – I so sympathise – snakes no problem but mice reduce me to a quivering heap. You are so brave and so resourceful and so goddam funny – I had tears running down my face reading your story. A lovely way to start at Sunday morning – thank you!!! Zxx

  3. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkk….I hate them. What a supreme burst of bravery. I have only ever killed them first and scooped them into a can with a lid. you moved with a living one in a dustpan outside…eeeeeek …..awesome story.

  4. I hate mice too…..but….. poor Stuart Fatguts though! What a way to go…. poisoned, stalked, smothered with a tea towel, dumped headfirst onto concrete and then run over and dumped down the drain.

  5. From the sounds of things, it was not Stuart Little but rather Stuart Large! Let it be a lesson to us – too much chocolate and we could look like Stuart. You are a brave soul!

  6. Nola…Your adventures crack me up!!! I’m so proud of you for overcoming your fear of Stuart and scooping him up twice…alive and dead! You Rock Sista!

  7. What is it with you and these small four legged creatures???? LOL!!! Must say though, you were bravery than I ever could have been. Very unhappy ending for Stuart Fatguts!!!

  8. I read your posts and feel like I am right there with you as you describe things. The Tasmanian lapband group seems like it would be an amazing support. The web is truly miraculous at helping people connect. Sorry about the loss of your close friend and also your mentor. Stressors both of them, though probably more the first.

  9. Hahahahaha..I needed a giggle today….I am TERRIFIED of mice…not just scared…terrified!!! You are braver than me….I had to ring an elderly neighbour (who lived next door) to come and get a mouse out of my kitchen doorway (its was passed out due to overeating half of my pantry and copious amounts of ratsack)….and i was stuck in the kitchen….he said to me…look at the size of you compared to that…I told him I have seen grown men run away from a spider smaller than that….hahahahahahaha

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