OK…listen up people….it is about to become all about ME!!!!! Forgive me Father, bless my arse, God bless my little cotton socks, slap me silly….whatever!!!! We DO tend to blog when all is light and roses, yes??? Well no farking more of that fluffy shit…..I need to blog the BAD STUFF!!! One thing I have learnt is that writing, for me, about “stuff” works a treat. Sadly for you….this will only be a treat for me…. your eyes will probably start bleeding after a week or two of my ranting 🙂
It will probably be like a car crash though…..you won’t be able to look away!! he he I am not happy with my progress thus far. And don’t start that “but you have done such a great job. blah blah blah” fark off!!! I should have lost TWICE what I have by now if I had been focusing and not being such a SLACK TART!!! I have become too complacent and comfortable again. I need a good shake-up. A slap around the face! My jaw wired……… you get the picture.
I can’t begin to even put into words, for fear I may disappear up my own arse from embarrassment, what I ate at work yesterday. You know….that evil, evil shop I attend from time to time full of farking lollies and other sweet treats including a soft serve ice-cream machine. I am not going to go into that right at this moment…maybe later when I recover some self esteem?
Why do I feel embarrassed when someone asks me when I had my lapband and how much have I lost so far?? I just feel like a failure….I KNOW I’m not…..so don’t start with the blah, blah, blah comments 🙂 It’s just that it has been over a year now and, as of this morning, I weigh 94kgs. I was down to 92kgs….but the last two weeks have seen me doing the “car crash” thing! I was 115kgs at my biggest. I was 110kgs when I was wheeled into theatre for the band. I am not disappointed with having the actual band. More that I am disappointed that I haven’t made the most of the opportunity to knock a couple of super models off their perches and lose more in this space of time 🙂 So, all in all that is a total loss of 21kgs. I AM happy that I have lost that and that I am not still 115kgs!! I think because I have been feeling so comfortable at this weight that I have dropped the ball….lost my focus somewhat. I feel comfortable in clothes at the moment….not squirmy and wanting to pull my top down all the time or pull the back of my bra down over the back fat roll……that sort of thing 🙂 I feel quite good. But I KNOW I will feel even farking better with another 20kgs off. I never really set a goal weight…. I just couldn’t wrap my head around anything under a 100kgs at the time. Secretly I thought 80kgs may be possible.
Anyhooooooo….. I promised a warts and all account of this lapband “journey” and my God, ya gunna get one!!! The only weight I know for sure that I USED to be was 86kgs in 1986. That is when I joined the police. I was still considered by them to be too fat…but they let me in because I had shown determination and fortitude by losing 20kgs to “cut the mustard” for the recruitment requirements. I had been on the good old Modifast and lost that amount very quickly. So….I think I will set my new goal for 86kgs and then reassess.
But first I need to pull this runaway train up a bit. So, today I have decided to start Modifast again just for a while and not too strictly….. just as another tool for a week or so. I will try and do Modifast through the day and then just a “normal” whatever everyone else is having evening meal. We go to Fiji for a 10 day holiday on the 8th June and that gives me two months to maybe get under 90kgs….maybe a bit more. I think that is achievable. My first goal is under 90kgs by June!! There…….I’ve farking put it on paper now….no backing out 🙂 Stay on my arse biartches !!!! 🙂
We are travelling up to our families tomorrow and spending until Sunday with them. No reason I can’t take the Modifast with me and stay on track. No reason at all……… it is the mindless snacking I need to get a handle on.
I am not sure how much I have in my band. I just lost track for some reason!! Dr Dreamy smiles at me and I lose all sense of place and time. He could be telling me I need to have a pipe cleaner shoved up my bum and pulled out my nose and I would be agreeing and smiling and asking if he would be doing the operation!!! lol lol I am getting low left side pain at the moment…. to the point it is keeping me awake. I have a feeling it may be related to my port? Anyway, I will try and get an appointment with Dr Dreamy before we go to Fiji. I have nothing else in there to blame really!!!! No ovaries, no uterus…..plenty of room for let!!!!
So, I am going to turn into Chris H. and blog quite often from now on!! Also, Chris wanted to know the ins and outs of a ducks arsehole anyway as far as being a bandit goes……hold onto ya hat Chris!!!! This post is long enough for now…. so I am going to clean the house ready for our departure tomorrow while Ricky is at work and not annoying me!!
Of course…… I will also keep you informed of other exciting things that happen…… like Patty 🙂
Patty’s front door is to the right of the front porch here. She enters through a hole in the corner. Her take-a-way apple tree is on the left of the driveway….the small tree. That big palm tree thingy is her “ladder” that she uses to get down off the carport roof and along the fence to the take-a-way.
Close up of Patty’s Porch and entrance way!! I mean, really!!!! Now we look at it …. it screams “Possum Penthouse” … yes, well, hindsight is a wonderful thing 🙂