OK…..I haven’t blogged lately because I haven’t really had anything to tell you about…..until now……………………………
You will recall that we had a nasty “incident” with a fat arsed possum attempting to break-in through the dog door not that long ago? Of course you do!!! Well, all has been quiet on the possum front since then, or so we thought. When we first moved into this house we noticed a board missing from one of the eaves and commented that it would probably make a nice possum house……. then promptly forgot about it. Even after the fat arsed possum incident we had forgotten about the inviting hole in the eaves. Well, the last couple of days Scarlett (the Jack Russell) has been doing the old “nose in the air and act like a little bush pig” trick out on the steps in the carport again. A sure indicator that maybe, just maybe, the fat arsed possum was “around these parts” again……(I said that with a wild west accent…..ya know??? 🙂 )
Anyhoooooooo…….. last night we heard what we thought was a herd of elephants on the carport roof. It wasn’t a herd of elephants, so therefore it was irrelephant!!! wahahahaaaaaa 🙂 There is a clear strip of laser light roof sheeting that allows light into the carport and Ricky shone the torch onto that……. my God!!!!! There it was…….a very, very familiar FAT ARSE!!!! Then two beady little eyes gave us the once over and off it went! Then today we heard Patty getting “settled” for the day in the “roof apartment”. Apparently, she had seen the Vacancy shingle hanging on that very inviting hole in the eaves and made herself right at home.
You notice we have named this fat arsed possum Patty? Blame Ricky…… he started that. He called her Possum Pattie of the food variety whilst we were on our POLICE SURVELLIANCE mission in the driveway!! He meant it in food terms….ie: Pattie not Patty. I changed it to Patty when I saw her cute little nose and eyes peeking at me from her new porch!! But I digress…..and have skipped ahead somewhat.
Today, after hearing the noise she made “settling in” for the day we decided to go around to Parks and Wildlife office and seek advice on possum removal and traps etc. They didn’t have a trap available until tomorrow….they will drop it off to us. I have since read up on possum trapping and all the rest of it. They do not relocate too well and survival rate is low. We need to learn to live with “urban” possums and build them a nest box in a tree near to the home you want to remove them from blah, blah, blah. They like apples…..try putting quarter of an apple in the cage trap. Well, we have a whole bloody apple tree in our drive approximately three meters as the crow flies from Patty’s front door!!!!! She has moved in next to her own bloody take-a-way!!! Go Patty, go Patty……..no wonder you have a fat arse girl !!!! So, anyway………. we needed to know if there is just Patty up there or if she is harbouring a Mr Patty. Which brings me back to our highly organised survelliance operative…… code named “Operation Roadkill”.
Sooooooooooo….. possums come out just on dark apparently. We grab a torch each and sneak up the driveway to see if we can see Patty. I shone my torch up and ….. there she is!!!! Peering out of her front porch!! My torch light startled her a bit….but damn she looked so cute with her little pink ears and little pink nose and her little possum hands 🙂 I say to Ricky, “Go get the keys to the Police car and we will conduct Operation Roadkill from the comfort of the front seats!!” Great idea!!!!! So here we are sitting in the Police car in our driveway slumped down in our seats whispering to each other in case Patty heard us!!! lol lol It was totally on!!!! All systems go!!!! I hope to God the neighbours weren’t watching us. That is when Ricky came up with the name of Patty……..your mind works overtime when you are on a mission like that. I mean, I was starting to cramp up in my left leg, but you can’t let things like that distract you when you are on such an important mission!
Then Ricky says, “Shit!!” I’m like……”What?! What?!!!”
Ricky says……. “Flo has just walked up the front steps and is looking up at Patty. She is going to compromise our whole operation!!”
Well, that did it……I nearly wet my bloody pants laughing. Flo is our cat by the way!! I reminded Ricky that the survival rate for relocated possums is very poor. He suggested we could probably pack her a travel bag full of the apples and she could use them to bribe the other tough bush possums and maybe make some friends. I can’t cope…….. I couldn’t even laugh “softly” anymore. I had a total mental picture going on of Patty and her travel bag full of apples being dropped off down the road waving and us wishing her luck !!!! waahahahaaaaaaaa 🙂
Then out she comes and up onto the roof! Awwwwww she is kinda cute in a pesky kind of way. Doesn’t appear to be a Mr Patty. Well, she isn’t hurting anything really. And if we keep the light turned on all night in the carport that will deter her from coming in there where she is not wanted. The dogs can’t get to her if she sticks to the roof and the apple tree out the front. Well, maybe we will just wait and see what happens. If she starts to make too much noise or becomes too much of a problem THEN we will consider “relocating” her with her little travel bag of apples. For now……… she can stay in the roof apartment with the”take-a-way” tree and we will see what happens……
Soft touches or what!!!??????????