Damage Control….

You know I have been having a few problems with spewing lately?  Of course you do……I’m a sharer 🙂  Well, it has got a bit beyond a joke the last few days.  The final straw came yesterday morning when I spewed up my beloved porridge and natural bran breakfast!  Well, the first three and only mouthfuls I took of it anyway……… lucky my dogs love porridge, hey ?!! (Not what I spewed…….what was left in the bloody bowl !!  geeezzzzz!!)

I think I can pinpoint what started all this.  I cooked little lambchops and vegetables about two weeks ago.  Pre-band I could easilly slam down at least four of these tasty babies and eat all the accompanying vegetables with, perhaps, a dollop of sour cream and plenty of butter and salt and pepper…………..  *drool*.  They are also Ricky’s favourite thing in the meat line.  Soooooooo, anywaaayyyyyyyy……………..

I served myself up one on my “special” bread and butter size plate and some vegetables.  I was really looking forward to it.  I knew the drill…….chew, chew, chew….blah, blah, blah.  I had a couple of mouthfuls of the tasty, fatty tail bit and then some vegetable.  Then bam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Excruciating pain……excessive saliva factory starts up in my mouth….eyes start to water……breathing becomes difficult and I feel it bubbling up my bloody throat.  Slam my plate down and rush up to the loo……………blahhhhhhhhhhh   Spew Town revisited. 

Except……..this time it was different.  I didn’t feel immediate relief.  I couldn’t just chastise myself for eating too quickly or not chewing enough.  Hell, I couldn’t even think straight to lay the blame on anything!!!!  I was in absolute agony.  I had shoulder pain, gut pain, leg pain, head pain, finger pain………..well, you get the drift 🙂  I felt really sick….like a real sick person!!! I suppose this feeling lasted for nearly a bloody hour with intermittent heaving up of phlem and bits of chop and vegetable……………noice!! I tried drinking water and even that bubbled back up.  Not to be outdone I tried coffee….same. It really wore me out and I went to bed feeling like shit and wishing that somebody would come and remove the elephant that had crawled down my throat and was sitting on my ribcage!!

Now, I don’t know, because I can only go on what I read about others and their experiences…… but I think I might have experienced my first “stuck” experience…… or blockage or whatever you want to call it.  I think my other experiences have just been because I didn’t chew or ate too quickly and things “backed up” the plughole a bit……and spewing removed it and off you go again all good!!  This time I think something had stayed there….blocking the plughole and was still there the next day.  I just felt uncomfortable the next day……..like a really good swig of Draino would do the trick 🙂

But did I take that as a lesson learnt and ease off for a few days???  Oh no, no, no!!!!!  I am one to always test these theories!!!!  So, I went back to my happy la la land place and continued on my merry grazing ways.  So, over the last week I have had maybe one “productive burp” a day!!!

Why do we call them productive burps????  A productive burp, I assume, is a burp that is productive in some way….ie” it produces unprocessed food that comes back up into your mouth??  It can also produce damning stares from passers-by and other assorted reactions if done loudly.  I like to muffle mine and keep my mouth closed…………a closet burper if you will 🙂  As far as I am concerned………….anything that causes food that went down your throat to actually come back up your throat and into your mouth is spewing!!!  Doesn’t matter that it didn’t pass the band doorkeeper and doesn’t have an “admit one “stamp on it……. it was still down there………so it’s spew!!!!!  I think if it passed the doorkeeper and had been “in the premises” for more than half an hour and then you were sick……that would be vomit.  Like dinky die vomit……………the smelly, have been down there mixing with other gut gasses,  I am in dire straits vomit that makes you want to vomit along with the vomit-ee.  Know what I mean??  Of course you do!!!!  Spew is the “underage” vomit that never got let into the premises and hasn’t even been digested. The youngster that just wants out before you ring it’s parents!!!    So, spew it is………………………….but I digress………………………………….

So, I have been spewing for a week on and off now.  I have been getting really shitty because I have been feeling hungry.  So…..I wait for the pain to subside and then I do it again!!!! I try to eat just a little bit more of whatever was giving me the pain……..and then I spew!!!  How farking dumb am I?????  Then I give up.  I mean……I bet if you gave a monkey an electric shock everytime it reached for a certain food it would learn after the third try that it should avoid that food……………………. so……………………………..I am dumber than a farking monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Actually…I think that is being a bit harsh on the poor monkey)

So…..anyhooooo…….I have come to my senses and have decided to put myself on enforced liquids/slushy mushies for a week.  I am pretty sure if I rang Dr Dreamy that would be his first line of attack anyway.  I am certain I don’t need any fill out.  I think what I have done is aggravate my band on the first “stuck chop” occassion and then, because I am a monkey, have made it swollen and sore from trying to shove more “rough” food through it every day of the farking week since the chop incident????…….  yeah…..I know I am right!!!  So, I will give myself a week on slushie mushies and then try some “rough” foods at the end of that.  If it is still not right……….then I will go see Dr Dreamy.

So this morning I made a lovely smoothie thingy in my blender with an Up & Go banana & honey breakfast drink, a couple of blobs of honey & banana yoghurt, 2 teaspoons of Benefibre, and a banana………. delicious!!!  I have to tell you something…………………………….I love bananas!!!!  🙂  Then we had a great day out with my sister and her husband and went to the caves at Mole Creek.  Karen and Dean were calling it Slut River……………………and it took me half the day to bloody “get it”……duhhhhhhhh  We stopped at a nice place for a late lunch.  They didn’t have much for a mushie eater…….so I had a custard tart and a skinny latte and just ate the middle out of the tart with a spoon…..classy!! 

Also…..  I have folded under the pressure and got myself on Facebook!!  You can find me by user name of   nolam  or I think it works if you type   facebook.com/nolam              I have heaps more photos on there and todays photos from the cave trip.  You might have to become my friend to see them though………..  how’s that for blackmail 🙂  Here is a photo of me and Karen taken today…………………………


mole creek june 09 013


23 thoughts on “Damage Control….

  1. I think banders need to develop a whole set of definitions for different kinds of barfs-The eskimos have a bunch of different words for different kinds of snow so why not us for barf-

    I have used your two definitions on my blog today 🙂


  2. Hey Girl…too funny. I think we’re experiencing the same things. I’m not sure what caused my inflammation, but I have to be more careful of what I have to eat. Yesterday was the first day I was able to keep a whole meal down, and that was at work…i.e. Tilapia with a light coconut cream sauce on a bed of pineapple rice (which was way overcooked, but delicious). It actually all went down! I’m wondering if I should follow up with my doctor, but I think I’ll give it another couple of week. Hopefully I can control my barf, spew, PB, Ralph..chunk blowing, slime slewing, exorcist impersonations and be at peace!

  3. I’m sorry you have had a bad week.. I hate vomiting of any kind, especially when you’re hungry, and the food and band wont co-operate with each other.. Dammit..
    I think it’s a good idea that you’re going on the softer foods for a week, but you obviously have more strength and willpower than I.. Fingers crossed, i hope your week of slops works for you.
    xx Nene
    Looking you up on facebook..

  4. Sure hope the week of “mush” works for you.
    Facebook is cool….must say I am addicted!
    Love the pic…you looking great girl!!

  5. Good idea on going back on the liquids and mushies. I think we “Bruise” our smaller stomachs when that sort of thing happens, I’m always sore after I eat chops or steak, but haven’t thankfully experienced the trouble you have had.

    Your Cradle Mountain pics are lovely, reminded me of a holiday there in 1998(we also stayed at the lodge) I think if i had to list some of my favourite parts of the world I would list Cradle Mountain. Such a beautiful place.

  6. Yep… I am definitely NOT getting WLS after reading all about your vomitting! I hate vomitting with a vengence!
    I am glad you are finally feeling better now… I love bananas too.

  7. Ok Im hearing you…I want you to try the following….lay back in a recliner chair (if you can get to one) and have a good stretch….stretch your arms way out past your head…you may actually feel something pop….Ive done it in the past lol ie: Xmas day last year…if you cant get a recliner chair, and yes i know you dont have one…try laying flat out on the floor or on the bed and doing the same stretch thing…you really really need to have a good go tho….you gotta feel like ur gonna bust on the inside..wont hurt you but may help instead

  8. I must clarify…..I don’t have anything stuck now. It went away the next day…..but I still feel sore and like I have probably made it swell and red raw….ya know?? I am doing the fluids to give it a rest and time to settle down again…not because I can’t eat.

    But I love you all and thanks for the tip Margie……I will remember that for next time….although I hope there isn’t one!!

  9. well trust me to be a couple of days behind..nothing unusual lol..glad ur ok now….will be up next weekend…waynes dad in latrobe hosp again….will try to pop in for coffee on the way home depending on the time…wayne gotta be back for night shift bugga

  10. Hi Nola, i feel your pain! Remember in the beginning of my journey when i was experiencing so much pain when i ate?
    [every time i ate it seemed]

    Well, i worked out that due to the painfull experience of getting something “stuck”, i was actually living through “first bite syndrome”.

    I still suffer from this now, if i don’t think before i eat. What happens is, when i have my first bite of food, my Oesophagus spasms shut/smaller/tighter expecting it to hurt like hell again. [think of it as reverse constipation!. nothing going in, instead of nothin going out!]

    If i get to this point, i do not even try to eat anything else until the pain subsides totally.

    But….if i remember before i take my first bite, which these days, i normally do, then, i take an eetsy beetsy bite, like a pea sized bite, and chew the crap out of it. Then, the next bite is a bit bigger, etc etc. By the end of my cup full of food, i am eating a good teaspoon sized bite and have enjoyed my meal.

    It is amazing what the imprint of pain does to our body!

    Hope this helps,

  11. Right now, I find myself wishing that I had more trouble eating – especially those things that I probably shouldn’t eat anyway. Not that I want to spew – I just want enough negative reinforcement that I stop eating things!

  12. Brilliant photo, you look amazing, hope the gastro problems are fixed soon!!!

    Great writing!! Off to check your FB 😉

  13. Yes! Yes! and Yes! The pain….the saliva…phlegm…vomit. I’ve been there many times. I’ve learned to carry tons of
    napkins or tissues in my purse so that I can “spit” into them if necessary.

    Other than the fact that I’ve gained back about 10 lbs of my lost self, my biggest problem – as I’ve told you before – is the farting. Dear God, I could start my own methane factory.

    I have farted in the receptionist’s face as I turned to leave. I have farted in my bosses office. I’m always so hopeful that there are at least 3 of us in any space so I can put a disdainful look on my face that says, “Ewww, who would do something like that!”

    I’ve tried Beano and Gas-X. I’ve asked my doc for help. He says there’s nothing to be done.

    Just call me,

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