Thanks…………

I was just totally overwhelmed by all your lovely comments on Molly.  Everytime I got a new comment I teared up again!  I truely value all my amazing blog friends out there and thank you all so very much for your kind thoughts.  I just love my little blog world…….I like to sit at my computer and go off into my own “private” little blog land and read everyone’s blogs and laugh and cry at their stories and feel like I am a “real life” friend……as I feel you are to me 🙂

I didn’t even know blogging existed really until I made friends with a very funny and crazy lady on another forum I used to visit.  Beetricks (over on my blog list) had a blog and I went to visit it and that got me on the road to doing up my own.  I still haven’t met her in person yet but I just KNOW that we will get on fantastically when we finally do meet!!  The great meeting of the drama queens that will be 🙂  I wish I was filthy rich or could win tattslotto so I could come and visit all of you……… doesn’t hurt to dream does it?  I have always said to Ricky that if we won millions of dollars I would pay for all my blog friends to go on a cruise together.  How good would that be?!!   Holy hell….wouldn’t there be some jaw flapping going on on that ship!!!!!!

 

In other news………since Molly died, Flo the other cat has changed personality!!  She is the little quiet cat that spent the most of her day in her bed on the shelf  in our wardrobe and only come out to eat and pee really.  She always sleeps with me under the doona…..but only on a chilly night!!  In the last couple of days she has turned into a drama queen like her mother!!!!  Now she wants feeding three times a day instead of two and sits up on the feed table meowing until she gets what she wants (and she does:) ).  She has started coming in to the loungeroom at night and insisting on being nursed and getting all smoochy.  Maybe she is just testing the waters to see if being a single cat comes with benefits?  Maybe she understands Molly has gone and is just feeling insecure and has turned into an emotional eater like her mother!?  Either way…… I kind of like the new Flo.  I wish we knew what our animals were thinking……………….

Flo in her “bedroom” which is a shelf  hippy-nightin our wardrobe!!

 

And of course, we still have the other two rascals………………….who just know there is good stuff to be found when Mum leaves the pantry door open!!  A can opener………..our kingdom for a can opener!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Thanks again everyone………………………………………..

RIP Molly……….

I took Molly to the vet because of excessive dribbling and a lump on her chin.  It turned out to be advanced cancer and it had spread down her neck.  We had her put down today……………after 16 wonderful years our Molly is gone.  I am too sad for words. 

 

I haven’t moved her bed that sits on the dining table yet.  I haven’t moved anything of her’s yet.  We will pick her up from the vet after work tomorrow and we are going to bury her under the tree on the front lawn.  That was her favourite spot and where she always “hung out”.  She was such a boof head of a cat and always “talking” and in your face…………..God, I’m going to miss you Miss Molly.

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She had more beds than any cat I know and still used to take-over the dog’s beds……..no way would they move her out of them……….she was queen!!

 

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She would sit on the decking rail and survey her kingdom and the peasant dogs……her subjects.

Mind you………she didn’t mind sharing a good sunbeam!

 

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16 fantastic years with a real character of a cat!!  Love you longtime Miss Molly…………………………………….

Noisy Thigh Syndrome……

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Last Easter and this Easter.  Same top……but the jeans I have on in the first picture are long gone.  I wore the inside thigh out on them from my legs rubbing together all the time.  All my trousers used to see their days out like that…..just the inside thigh bit throwing in the towel from my legs rubbing together. 

The brown trousers I have on in this Easter’s photo have sat in my wardrobe for about three years I think, with the price tag still on them.  I brought them from Myers online and they were just way too small.  So, I can see a bit of a difference in the two shots.  I was lapbanded 6mths after the first photo…….. I put on even more weight leading up to the surgery day.  God knows what I weighed in the first one but I do know I was unhappy and uncomfortable! Same top and same dog …. I hadn’t worn the top since last Easter!!….. it was too “clingy” and uncomfortable.

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Actually that is a big “fat” person thing that happened all the time to me!!…………….my thighs rubbing that is. The old “noisy thigh” syndrome!! Especially at work.  You know when it is quiet and you walk somewhere and all you can hear is the material on your trousers going swoosh, swoosh, swoosh!!  Sometimes when I was walking down the corrider I would try and walk with my legs apart so I didn’t make that sound and people in their offices off the corridor couldn’t hear me coming.  I was quite self concious about it!!  Of course, you couldn’t walk like that if someone else was in the corridor because you would look like you had just shit yourself!! 🙂  I think I still make a little swoosh……but I can see the day when my thighs will be silenced forever!!!  Silence will be golden …….

 

Also when your thighs rub together and you go swooshing , the material works it’s way up into the middle of your croutch!!  So, every now and then I take a furtive look around and quickly grab the inside leg of my trousers and pull the material out from the crutch muncher!!!  You know…..it’s like feeding the trouser material into one of those garden shredders and you have to yank it back down your leg before it disappears into the abyss forever!!  Well, that is something I wont miss either:)  No more swooshing, yanking and walking like I have just pooed my pants…..bliss 🙂

 

I have eaten waaaayyyyyy too much chocolate in the last week.  Why are these types of food not a problem??!!  And why, oh why…… can’t we get the urge to eat waaayyyy too much brocoli or carrots!!??  Life’s a bitch like that 🙂

What about my arse!!!???…

“Your face is looking so much thinner!”  “Have you had your hair cut?”  “You look so different!”

Actually………….I never really had much of a problem looking at my face!  It was from the neck down that worried me!!  I wish someone had the guts to say……”Farking hell…..your arse has shrunk!!!”  🙂  Because that is how I am starting to feel now………..as my gorgeous blog buddy Helen.G  from Reddirt Woman said when I cracked the tonne….(I would put one of those fancy links you could click on here if I knew how to bloody do it!!)   “You aint HAULIN’ ARSE anymore!”   God, I loved that!!!  Haulin’ arse :)………….. I want to say it again…………HAULIN’ ARSE!!!….OK, over it now……

“Hey girl……look at you!!  Why, you aint HAULIN’ ARSE much anymore are ya!!!??”   ….  sorry, I’ll stop now 🙂

So, this morning I am 15kgs down from the day of my operation and 20kgs down from my personal best.  I think that is slow…… I expected to lose it quicker……..but I am really happy none the less.  Still finding the fact that I am not going to put it back on again a little hard to wrap my head around!!  For the first time I am not hiding away my “fat” clothes in anticipation that I may need them again in a few months time……they are going straight to charity as they get remotely baggy!!  This is the most wonderful thing about the band…………it is a permanent solution.  Oh……and no meetings 🙂

Stuff  I’m starting to notice….. I may repeat some from before…….but they are worth revisiting!!

Losing back fat……………  when I put my bras on I don’t automatically pull the back bit down over my back fat roll.  I used to do that all the time….like a bra for the back fat bit!  Tuck the fat in and then continue to yank the back of my bra down throughout the day.  I haven’t gone down a bra size……but I am doing them up on the last hooks now and before it was the first row and they were uncomfortable and tight!!  I also had a boob “muffin top” going on with my cleavage oozing out the top …..now they sit nice and tucked in to the cup.

When I sit on the toilet at home my thighs don’t touch the toilet roll basket anymore 🙂  At work I don’t brush against the bloody sanitary bin either!!  Now this is gross…… but a biggie for me……and you know I am a sharer!!!  When wearing my dressing gown and going to the toilet, I always undid the dressing gown…..because…..between my bulk and the dressing gown and the gown tie there was no room left for “manouvering”  to wipe myself!!!  Now I can “make a clean swipe of it” without undoing the dressing gown!!!  While we are in the bathroom…………………  I find it heaps easier these days to shave my legs.  I can just bend down and stay down without having to come up for a breath while I swipe away at the Tasmanian Wilderness areas!!  Clear felling is sooooo much easier……………and quicker!

The seatbelt in the car fits better.  I was always yanking it back over so it sat between my boobs….then it would slide back over to the side again….then I would yank it again…..you get the picture.  Now it just stays there!!  I am also getting in and out of the car a hell of a lot easier.

I have started wearing tops without a cardigan or a vest over them or making sure they were lose and didn’t cling to my “back fat”.  I thought by wearing a cardigan or vest and spending the whole time pulling them across the front of me that it “disguised” the fat a tad. Like I thought that sarong in my photos page covered up the fact I looked like a greenpeace reject in my bathers!!  What was I thinking???….that’s like covering up a St Bernard with a racing cloth number and thinking people will think it’s a greyhound!!!  I am loving the new clothing possibilities that are starting to open up to me.  Quite possibly the best thing about this so far…….except for the improvement in my health of course.

Painting my toenails.  Same as shaving my legs…. I no longer have to come up for a breath between toes because my fat rolls were suffocating me!! 

I am walking up hills so much easier.  I still feel like I am going to cough up a lung some days……but only one.  Before it was two 🙂 

When I catch my reflection it takes a couple of seconds to realise it’s me.  I always look down when confronted with reflective shop windows or full length mirrors etc.  A couple of times in the last week I have accidently looked!!!……and I actually shocked myself!!  For the first time since my operation I could see that I have changed and it can only get better.  I thought to myself……….”Self, you haven’t done a half bad job!!”  As a matter of fact……I loved myself sick for the rest of that day 🙂

So, I am starting to see and feel the changes.  I can’t help but wonder how good it is going to feel when I hit the 80’s…….and with the band……I know I will.  That’s the difference I think when you have a band……..be it slow or fast…..you know what you get off is going to stay off!!  I am not saying you don’t still have to try…. you do!!  But if you concentrate and make a point of eating the “good” things first when you are hungry…..then you can’t fit in any “bad” things even if you really wanted to!  Sure…..you could still put weight on.  You could sit and sip liquid chocolate and chips with gravy and all the “greased” up stuff all day and put weight on…….of course you could!!  But why would you??  Why would you go to all the trouble of having a potentially life threatening operation (because all operations are life threatening when you are obese) and then eat shit forever after??!!  I have read about some people that have and I feel immensely sorry for them and hope they get help of the “head” kind and try again.  But for us “normal” people that have just come to the end of our tethers……..it will work!!!!

So it’s Easter already!!!!  My band lurrrvveessss chocolate!!!  Not a problem in the world…..just inhale baby!!  I will be having an egg over the Easter of some description.  That is the beauty of a band also….. you can have some “normal” treats.  One thing I have never felt is the fact I am “missing out” on anything.  I usually have a little of what I fancy when the temptation gets all too much.  I find that by having a little….. it stops me having a lot later down the track.  If something is playing on my mind and it is all I can think about…..then I have some.  Then move on to healthy eating again and maybe walk a little bit further that night.  It’s all about balance….not just food but our lives in general.  It’s just that these days I am happy with one Mint Slice instead of polishing off the whole packet over the day.

So, a very happy and safe Easter to you all.  I am sure to pick up some “blog fodder” at the family get together tomorrow 🙂  I am feeling a bit like the tramp at the moment………………………………

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