Pedometers…..

Do people that design things really think about it…… I mean really think?  If I was a pedometer designer I would be thinking the majority of my target market may be overweight to some extent….hence the interest in walking and how far you walk?

 

Pedometers, at least the half dozen I have tried over my time……..are NOT MADE FOR FAT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who needs the motivation the most…..  farking fat people!!!!!!!  I remember my first “serious” pedometer.  Not the type you get for free out of a cereal box or on a magazine…..no, no, no…this was heavy duty stuff.  I paid a small fortune for it.  It played me music, it spoke to me, it counted my steps, kilometres and calories. Hell…it probably even had an automatic condom dispenser…who knows!!   This baby was made for the serious walker!!!  I brought this machine when I was living down the Wild West and working as an Occupational, Health & Safety Coordinator for a mining contractor.  In charge of 177 strapping, sweaty miners wearing nothing but a skimpy blue singlet ……..*sigh*………..but I digress 🙂

 

Of course….. as always…. I had weight  “issssh-ooozzz”  and this was my latest fad.  I loved pressing the buttons on the top as I walked and have it tell me how great I was!!!  …. well, how far I had walked anyway.  I have never bothered with belts.  Still not up to the belt stage yet. My natural rolls kept my trousers up!!  Why don’t I wear belts?  because they don’t make belts farking wide enough to fit fat people like me….and they do not suit fat people!  Even if I could have found one that fitted, the minute I sat down and stopped holding my breath the bastard would disappear into the abyss of my fat rolls never to be seen again!!  I would have to call mine rescue to get the bastard out again!! I would just hook the pedometer over the waistband of my trackies when I left to go walking.  I never actually sat down with the pedometer on……….

I wore it to work on the first day back…..I was interested to know how far I walked in a 12hr day at work.  I did wear a belt to work because it was the law!  You had to have the belt on to hold the self rescuer (for underground) radio and other paraphinalia (sp?) onto it for my job!  I went to a staff meeting first up one day with the mine manager and other assorted “knobs” in attendance…………………..I SAT DOWN…………..

La, la, la, la……  *beep* you have done 1368 steps…..*beep* la, la, la    The buttons were on the top of  the bloody pedometer and when I sat down my rolls of  fat folded over and set the buttons off!!!  I had to stand up and lift my shirt up to get the bloody thing to turn off!!!  How embarrassing!!!!  They didn’t let me live that one down for a while!! 

 

The other thing I noticed about this pedometer was the reading was never right…..on me.   BECAUSE….my fat rolls kept pressing the buttons and stuffing the reading.  One day I had apparently done 60,000 steps by morning tea time…..go me 🙂

 

pedometer-2So, here is my handy hint for the day………………..  If, like me, you have a little surplus  “hornbagness”  to be rid of ….and you are going to purchase a pedometer……….get one with the buttons on the FARKING SIDE!!!!!   Or just count for  yourself….it will take your mind off the fact that your knees and butt are bloody killing you 🙂

Today…..

Physically I feel like crap but mentally I feel great!!  I just feel like things are looking up, you know?  A few of us “newbie” banders have been a little down, morose, sad………… just plain unhappy TARTS!!!  So, it is time to look at the bright side and remember why we did this in the first place.  Take the good with the bad and keep on keeping on!!!  So there!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I got this on the end of one of those….”send to 50,000 of your closest friends or you will die!” emails.  It just caught my attention and I scribbled it down before I joyously hit the delete button!  I think it applies to all of us and is quite thought provoking…………………

 

WE CANNOT DIRECT THE WIND BUT WE CAN ADJUST OUR SAILS”

What else…….?   Well, yesterday morning I thought I was dying from bowel cancer or something!  You know how you get your little routine going in the mornings?  Well, I do.  On a work morning anyway. I get up…..drink copious amounts of coffee and read the paper…..get Ricky’s “playlunch” ready while he has his shower…..then I say goodbye to him….then I get in the shower….then I get out & wrap a towel around my head then put on my moisturiser, check for zits and other foreign objects on my face, floss & clean my teeth (well, the real ones on the bottom anyway:) ) , put my mineral foundation on then blowdry my hair.  Then……are you still with me? ….  I go put my work clothes on and then go back into the bathroom and finish putting my make-up on, which is usually just mascara, a smudge of liner on the bottom lid and lipstick.  I blot my lips with toilet paper (the loo is in the bathroom) and I am good to go!!!

Yesterday…..due to my Allbran fetish……..I was good to go 🙂  So, I had to break my routine………after dressing I usually go feed the breakfast club and have a smoke (so shoot me!!) and watch them and Stumpy chow down for a few minutes.  But….I had to gooooooo…..ya know?!

So, I gooooo and when I wipe I spy red blood in the toilet bowl.  OMG….I freaked….a little!!  Maybe it wasn’t the Allbran giving me the urge…maybe I have some dastardly disease???  I panic and flush….the blood is still there!! This is all I need!!  I have been feeling a little poorly of late…..oh, woe is me!!!  That is when I realised that it must be remarkably “gooey” blood to survive the flush.  I looked closer…….as you do 🙂  The lipstick that I blotted onto the toilet paper had transferred itself onto the side of the toilet bowl.  Well, it has never done that before…..so I was well in my rights to panic…..wasn’t I?

Just between you and me I was silently grateful Ricky had gone to work……because I would have done the drama queen thing and he would never let me live it down!!  So keep it to yourself……but you know I had to tell you….I am a sharer 🙂

The most exciting thing that happened to me today was a stray dog (well, actually he isn’t a stray….he lives across the road) shit on my front lawn…….again!! This farking dog comes over nearly every morning and shits on my lawn.  He has a perfectly good front lawn of his own……but nooooo….he has to come over to mine!!  So, anyhow, I caught him this morning.  I happend to be looking at the front window at the right time.  I lifted up the blinds and bashed on the window and yelled, “Get off my lawn you naughty little puppy”….or something like that 🙂

Well, it scared the shit out of the bloody dog….literally!!  He took off and raced back across the road without looking left and right and left again!!  Farking hell….there was a scream of brakes and a car just missed hitting him by a bee’s dick!!  I felt soooooo bad.  If he had been hit I would have been responsible for it!!  It made me feel sick!  Still, he is lucky he hasn’t been hit before this.  The cars go quite fast up and down our street.  Anyway, I don’t think he will be back over in a hurry 🙂

I went grocery shopping and did a few bits and pieces around here. I cooked up another batch of “doggie teas” for my two fur babies and bagged them up and put in the freezer.  My stepdaughter called in this evening and I made her tea and had a chat.  She is the mother of the twins in previous post.  The girls are with their Dad this weekend.  Other than that….a non eventful day. 

It is a long weekend here (Monday off)  for Australia Day.  Ricky is going to do some more work on his shed…..and what could be more Australian than a man working on his shed!? The weather is really starting to feel “summery” here and I am thinking I might get myself a sun lounger like this one and get myself nice and comfortable……………….

 

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Struggle Street…..

Hi Everyone,

well, as the heading says I am living on Struggle Street the last week or so!  I feel like I am the “old Nola” as opposed to the “New Nola” I was a few weeks ago.  I have just found myself slipping back into my old ways and habits and eating waaayyyy too much. 

I know it is down to me in the end and it is all about willpower until I find my “sweet spot”, but if I had the willpower it takes….then I wouldn’t have got a bloody band!!  Me and willpower have a sporodic relationship to say the least!  Oh, I know I will make it in the end…..but at the moment I am really struggling. 

I am not doing the protein thing properly.  Lollies and biscuits and things like that have been making frequent guest appearances…..you get the drift.  So, one thing I know (if I stick to it) is that a food diary helps keep me on the straight and narrow.  So, I am going to make a new page and call it my “food diary”…..I know….original name 🙂 I will be dead honest in there and will add comments about how I felt that day or whatever.  I need to do this….at least for a while.  My next fill is 31st of this month…..that will be interesting.  I feel like I am nearly there…but not quite.

I forgot to weigh in last Thursday (thanks Tracey!).  Not sure why!!  I will leave it now though and do my usual weigh in this Thursday coming. So, starting tomorrow I will keep a diary and try to drink more water.  I have been very, very bad with this.  I keep forgetting!! 

I went for xrays today on my hips.  The left one is giving me curry and feels like somebody is using an electric drill on it.  I wont get the results of that until I go back to my GP on Feb 5th.  Oh well, I have put up with it this long.  Nothing much else exciting going on in my life at the moment….Ricky is excited though!!!!  He is coming ahead in leaps and bounds with his new shed….bless him!!  I have gone by the wayside…on the bloody backburner…..the man nearly has his dream shed…….I just can’t compete with that 🙂

Progress shot…………..from left……Ricky’s son, Ricky’s bum, Ricky’s Dad!!

A funny little aside about Ricky’s Dad, Laurie…………  Him and Ricky’s Mum, Eunice have nicknames for each other. 

Laurie calls Eunice “Singlet”…………….because he says she is never off his back!!!!

Eunice calls Laurie “Pothole”……because she says he is always in the road!!!   lol, lol

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Here is a picture of Ricky’s daughter’s daughters (my stepgrandchildren).  I had them for a few hours on Saturday.  They are six years old now.  I can’t believe they both nearly died at birth.  Very premature…..Mia on the left dropped to 780gms and Hannah was 1294grams.  They looked like tiny little aliens and were see-through.  They let us in to see them just after they were born because they thought they might die.  They were all tucked up under the lights and under bubblewrap to keep their temps steady…..amazing to see them now!! They were both smaller than the receiver on a phone.

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PS:  Get on over to Dizbanded’s blog and ask her a question….it is her turn to be interviewed!!!   I would do the clever “Diz’s blog” thing and then you just click on it and it takes you there……..but I am a farking muppet and can’t work out how to do it!!!!!  *sigh*

My band & a tour of the “loveshack”….

WEDS – Today I feel like I have a band!!  and last night also.  Last night Ricky’s parents came for a barbie tea and so that Ricky and his Dad could plan their attack on the new shed we are about to start.  I cooked up a few bits and pieces like lamb chops, snags, steak.  I made a lovely salad and put out some fresh bread.  I dished myself up two chops and some salad.  I think I may have eaten them too quickly….or the first chop I should say.  Bad pain!!  I stopped eating and didn’t feel hungry at all.

Lately, if I have got the pain I wait and then start eating again!!  Because I still feel hungry.  Then this morning the same thing happened.  I decided I should start being “healthy” with my eating.  I have been a slack tart really and have been eating whatever.  I got a small bowl of Allbran with cold skinny milk and put half teaspoon of sugar on it…….because we all know………..a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down 🙂

Again, I think I had the first four mouthfuls before I even really thought about it……….pain!!!  I waited a while and it subsided.  I was drinking coffee too……..so sue me!!!!  I had maybe another four mouthfuls and then threw the rest away.  It is 10am now and I just had a big glass of water because it is so flamin’ hot here and it has made me feel really uncomfortably full.  Why all of a sudden do I feel restriction when I have not had a fill or anything??  Weird!!

I have been walking twice a day for the last week.  I have been taking the dogs for a piss n’ sniff in the mornings before work and then we both go after work down to the beach and give them a “freerange” at night.  Even on my days off, like today, I have been getting up early and going for a walk.  I weigh in tomorrow but Icouldn’t resist having a peek this morning…….because I feel thinner. Well, apparently the scales disagree!!  I was 99.2kgs……should not have stepped on the bastards!!  But the three quarter trousers I put on this morning are too big now and I have them pulled across at the waist with a pin so they don’t fall down!!  I am only hanging out at home and doing some painting and other jobs, so it doesn’t matter if I look like the trailer trash queen!!

I will be interested to see if they move at all tomorrow morning…….not my trousers, the scales 🙂  I am back at work tomorrow for my 5 day stint in la la land.  At least I have the weekend in the middle and it is forecast for this beautiful summer weather to continue throughout the weekend.  We should have the shed built by Sunday if that is the case.  Then I can do stuff like pull the old clothesline down and put my brush fencing around and tizzy the place up a bit outside.  At the moment it looks like a bombsite!!!    I am on the lookout for a water feature now….. I will know it when I see it….no hurry. 

Might give you a tour of the outside of my house….I can’t be bothered doing  much because it is too bloody hot!!!!!!!!! Then I think I will paint the laundry cupboard because that will be up here in the shade and, at least, I will have done one of the many jobs waiting around this place!!    So here is the love shack 🙂

This is taken from the top of my driveway.  This is the hill that I couldn’t walk back up to save myself…..hence the reason I drive down to the bottom and walk from there!

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This is the front of the house.  I love that tree!!  It loses it’s leaves in winter, so lets the sun in when you most want it.  Did I tell you my favourite colour is green?…lol We have new black aluminium windows on order and I can’t wait to do a new front door!!  Also going to paint the red brick work black in that textured type of paint that looks like render…..renovating is never ending!!

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Remember I told you the only one that uses our dining table is the cat…………….I rest my case!!  I gave up and put her pillow on there!!!  I DO clean it if someone comes for dinner!!!!………honest 🙂  Ah…stuff it…..you are all invited for furball patties 🙂

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This is standing at the french doors looking out the back.  This is stage one of the love shack decking and backyard renos.  This bit has a roof and a side wall to protect from the wind and block off the view of next doors bathroom window!!  The black roof down the back is my friend Marina’s house and Georgie’s house is over to the right.  We only have those two tarts living down behind us and one house on the left…..the rest is paddocks and a water resovoir over to our right……so quite nice and we don’t feel closed in.  Nice to sit on deck and stare at the greenery.  It is a river reserve down the back and farmland beyond that……so nobody will be building on the valley and  hill we look at.computer-desk-0091

This is looking down the steps off the decking……..you are looking at the site for stage two of the loveshack decking extravaganza!!  All of this area is going to be decked with my reed fencing along that side fence.  Where I have those few vegetables planted is going to be a treated pine seat and the bricks behind it will be black with the water feature when I find one to suit.  I also want to put bamboo either side of the water feature and I will sit the outdoor setting I am doing up in this area and make it all “Mexicanee”.  Those old rusty post things are what was holding up the third bay in the old carport….they will be getting pulled down.  Check out the size of that bloody lettuce…..woohooo!!

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Another picture of my “market garden”….check out my corn….you could make crop circles in those babies 🙂  I just thought we may as well have something in here while we wait for “stage two” to eventuate.

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This is the bombsite that is my backyard at the moment……sigh.  That old carport is coming down once the shed is completed…..have to leave it up for now until we have somewhere to put everything out of the weather. Where the sawhorses are is where the big new shiny shed in stage three of the loveshack reno is going 🙂  See the old dish on top of the carport……can ya see the birdshit????  That is from the breakfast club….and Stumpy.  The water is me being wasteful…..I fogot I had the sprinkler on my corn crop and it overflowed everywhere!

 

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This is the outdoor setting I have been doing up.  The other chair and the table are up in the other photo.  They were left behind in a shed at the Police house we lived in at Queenstown.  We rang the guy that lived there before us and he didn’t want them!!!  Thanks mate…..a bit of elbow grease and they are looking great!!  I worked out it cost me $150 for the paint and a bit of elbow grease getting them sanded back and stuff prior to painting.  I reckon I now have a setting worth at least $500.  Bargain!!!  They will be going on the new decking next to the water feature and I will buy a little mexican man with a hat on to sit in the middle of the table.  I haven’t done the table yet……it will be green.

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This is looking back up at the house.  We are going to close in under the decking and use that as storage for outdoor furniture and other stuff.  Those steps will not be as steep because they will join up with the next level of decking. I am actually quite excited to see it all finished.  Once the shed is up we will be on a roll.  Hard to renovate without a shed to work in…..     The wind has just got up while I have been doing this.  That is a bad combination around here with the hot weather….bush fires and all that.  Now, I must stop procrastinating and get and do some painting!!

So, there you have it…..a little peek into the loveshack 🙂  I hope you enjoyed the tour!

Where do you sit?…..

Just wondered 🙂

 

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This is where I sit when I am on a blogging spree.  To my left is the kitchen and to my right is an open plan area that houses the dining table (that rarely gets used except by the cat!) and that has french doors that open up onto a bit of decking at the rear of the house. Out that door you can see and to the right is the front door and if you go straight ahead you walk up a small hallway to the bedrooms and bathroom etc.  The family jewels are hidden under the fourth floorboard from the left window……..joking!!!!!  You would sooooo be in the wrong house if you were looking for family jewels!!

    I can just look up and over to my right a bit and I can see into the loungeroom (that is more the size of a farking cupboard!) and I can see the TV (flatscreen on the wall)…..so if something grabs my attention I don’t have to get up and go look!!  Ricky is watching The Simpsons at the moment….that does not grab my attention!!  Actually, I think he might be snoozing 🙂

On top of the computer desk is a bowl on a wrought iron stand with junk that has no other home in it as well as car keys, phones and wallets etc.  It also houses golf tees, score sheets, screwdrivers and anything else Ricky dumps in there!!  The round thing underneath it is a “golf ball” money box that he throws his change into when he empties his pockets….and I raid that every Sunday morning to get change for the Sunday paper girl 🙂  There are three little speakers, a pottery bowl with nothing in it, the cordless phone base which also has the answering machine in it, a Policeman ornament that wobbles and has “Top Cop” written on the base of it, my sunglasses, the camera case and one of Ricky’s work ties…..he always dumps his tie there at the end of the day!!

On the next shelf down there is the “black box” for the broadband connection, the screen, a stapler, address book, two stickytapes in their holders, a shelf for bills, a row of CD’s and a jar with all the pens and highlighters and pencils in it.  The pull out shelf is next with the keyboard and mouse.

The bottom shelf has another big speaker, the tower, the printer, a heap of paper stacked up on top of the printer, calculator and a box of staples and some dust bunnies!! 

So, that is where I spend a good portion of my “downtime”.  I prefer to sit here and puddle away than watch TV lately.  Ricky sits in and watches a program or two.  Because it is open plan I don’t feel like I am away from the action!  We can still talk……in the commercials of course….and it just seems more together than having the computer stuck down in the spareroom somewhere.

The wooden lady is one of the things I got from my deceased grandfather’s estate.  I remember her from when I was very young and used to stay with my grandparents in Melbourne on occassion.  The thing is…… there is just something I don’t particularly like about her eyes……so I put sunglasses on her 🙂  I change them every now and then to suit the mood.  She had silver “Dame Edna” ones on over the Christmas with little silver disco balls hanging off them and tinsel around her neck !  She has a couple of cracks running through her, but I like them.  It gives her an aged character and mystery.  My Nan always refered to her as “The lady with the crack”.  Of course, we still call her the lady with the crack too 🙂

I was sitting out on the decking with Karen on Saturday and turned around to see this staring at me…..he was perched on the guttering of the house next door.  I happened to have the camera in front of me because we were trying to work out the video thing…..so I zoomed and snapped and it came out really well!!  I am quite proud of  it and it makes my plant in the foreground look fantastic!!  There are a pair of kookaburras just over the back of our house and they have just had babies.  We can hear the babies learning to “laugh” and they sound really funny……like they have something stuck in their throat!  This is one of the parents………..

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Just a whimsy post today…..but I would like to see photos of where you sit 🙂

Interview….

Karen stayed last night….and this morning we figured out how to use the video feature on my camera.  I had four videos done and in the bag.  My stomach is still sore from laughing and dancing!!  I even did “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” for Zena!!!!!!  Well, the bloody videos are still on my computer…..they just wont farking load onto this post!!!  Ricky has even had a go changing properties and things like that….but we just can’t get them to load on.  They play OK when viewed directly from My documents…….. so I am devastated.  They were brilliant!!!!…if I do say so myself 🙂  If I can find someone that can figure it out for me I will post them at a later date for you.

So onto the questions……

 

Arlene:-  I get my sense of humour from my Dad mainly I think.  He is a very funny man and has me crying laughing on many, many occassions!!  Hard to describe him.  My Mum also….and my sister.  Hell, I’m not sure!!!  My favourite shows growing up were ones like “I love Lucy” and I loved Ding Dong Drysdale (an Australian personality).  I love shows like the “Vicar of Dibley” and the “Goodies” and “Absolutely Fabulous”….all the good British comedies!  Then I have worked in jobs that lend themselves to humour too…like the police force.  Some very funny shit happens in jobs like that!!  I have been told I am “quick witted” and good with a one liner……I like to think so 🙂  It’s just the way I like to look at things.

images                                          I would “turn” for Dawn French!!  I am currently reading her book “Dear Fatty”.  She is my “if you could invite one famous person to dinner, who would it be?” person.

 

Diz:-    I think Australians are exactly the same as Americans when it comes to body image.  Although, you may be a little more obsessed with the size 0 thing going on at the moment!!  I think it has to affect you as you are growing up in some respect.  Just with the fashion you choose to wear and that sort of thing.  It affected me more in the fashion I couldn’t wear, more to the point!!  Hotpants were “in” when a was a teen……not on these legs baby!!  I grew up being told I was beautiful and smart and all the good stuff…..I am blessed. My Mum gave me the gift of self confidence, no matter what my weight was.  I still had doubtful times and unhappy times…..but the majority of my time was not spent languishing on body issue angst.  I didn’t like being the fatty……but I was a happy fatty!!…mostly. Funnily enough, now that I have actually had lapband I have calmed down on my body bashing thoughts. I am going along with the process now and what will be, will be…ya know?  I think it is because I know I am not going to stack on heaps more weight anymore.  Even if I don’t lose anymore from today, I think I would be happy just knowing that I am not going to get bigger!!  Did that make sense??  It’s almost like since I have had lapband surgery I have finally taken ownership of being fat and have accepted it!

So, really…..right at this stage of the game, I feel a bit like…………………………..

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Helen:-  I love being a Tasmaniac!!  But, if money was no object I would love to live somewhere warmer….maybe on another island in the Pacific?  But then again, I would probably have the island as my summer home because I like the winter when it comes too…..I like cosying up inside and doing “winter” things like craft.  So, even if I won tattslotto, I would still live here….. just upgrade the old weatherboard, ya know!!!  But I would come visit all my blog buddies and pay for them to come here to Tasmania for a big blog reunion!!  Plenty of room on the carport roof for a buffett 🙂  I’m sure Stumpy wouldn’t mind 🙂

 

Eddy:-  Quite simply……you are a legend!!!!  This is what I think you should do……………….

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Linda:-  I can in complete honesty say there has never been a bad cop or dirty incident in the whole of my career.  I used to love taking the “piss” out of people and making a bit of fun of them when they were pissed…..but nothing I wouldn’t tell the Police commissioner about!!  There was one time, when I worked in Queenstown (a small mining town on the West coast of Tassie) when the guy I worked with and I brought bags of lollies and then pulled people up all day.  They shit themselves when the blue lights came on and they had to pull over.  Then we walked up to them and gave them a lolly and told them we had pulled them over to commend their good driving and that it was a government incentive scheme!!  They were thrilled and we pissed our pants all day…..so no harm done 🙂

 

Caroline:-  I see life at goal as being the same but different!!  I will still be doing the same things but I will be doing them differently!!  For instance…..On our Fiji holiday I would loved to have tried parasailing.  When I saw that you landed on the beach and were “caught” by two Fijian men….I didn’t do it.  I was too self concious that I was so big they would do their backs in!!  Next time round….I will be doing it!!  Instead of sitting on the bank of the river watching others swim because I am too self concious…..I will be swimming!  Instead of holding on to the arms of the deckchair while I exit the chair (so it doesn’t stick to my arse and come up with me)  I will stand straight up and the deck chair will remain on the ground!!  I will be walking into any shop I damn well want and having a “browse” instead of heading straight to Target or BeME because they are the only places to get clothes over size 20.  Most of all….my back will thank me because it doesn’t have to lug an extra 40kgs around on it all day!!….so it will not be so painful.  So, I guess I see my life staying the same……but the way I live it……….WAY DIFFERENT!!!!

 

Dawn:-  I’m not really into the farts and knob gags.  some intellectual humour rings my bells….but I guess I am more of a slapstick/real life humour type of girl.  Seeing the humour in the serious stuff around me.  Like in church, or looking at people at funerals and seeing something funny at really, really inappropriate moments!!  I cry until it hurts sometimes and I have been known to wet my pants.  My knees go on me, I can’t walk and everytime I think of the “incident” again…I start up again!!!  Depends what it was……………

Like the time when we were kids and Karen and I went blackberrying.  We used to visit a friends farm regularly and loved it.  We decided to go pick blackberries. When Karen was younger she worried about everything and was scared of heaps of things!  Fantastic fodder for me 🙂  So, we had our little plastic buckets and off we went up the paddocks.  The blackberries lined the fences and we found a good heap.  Karen kept saying, “There’s no bull in this paddock is there?”  I’m like….”NO…..you can see there is no bull in the paddock!!”  There was no anything in the bloody paddock!!

She’s like “Are you sure there’s no bull in the paddock?” 

“No….there is no bloody bull in the paddock and none can get in!!!!  Look….there is fences all around us!!”

So, she forgot about the bull issue and started picking.  About 15 minutes into picking a walked up behind her and yelled, “LOOK OUT…..BULL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Well, she threw her blackberries up into the air and screamed her lungs out ……………….  and jumped into the blackberry bush!!!   LMAO….it was the funniest thing I have ever seen!!!!  She was right in the middle of the bush and had cut herself to shreds on the thorns……too funny. 

Well, I just collapsed.  I laughed and cried and yes, it was one of the times I wet myself.  She somehow got herself out of the bush and raced back to the house to tell on me.

OMG….it was soooooo funny!!!!  Everytime I tried to start walking back, I got the “vision” again and just couldn’t walk.  Bloody hell…………..now that was funny!!!!  Nearly as funny as when she knocked herself out on the telegraph pole.  Or when Dad ran straight into a parking meter and nearly knackered himself when we were in Launceston shopping……or when my friend fell through a 2nd story window at our highschool and grabbed the curtains which saved her from falling to the ground.  I was going to pull her back in…….but when I looked down I saw that if she had fallen, she would have gone right through the roof of the porta loo that the builders had set up……so I let go of her because I lost my strength laughing too much!!!  You get the picture………………….  I have heaps!!!!!

 

Sylvia:-  I will donate my “big” clothes to the Red Cross or the Salvos shops here.  Except for a couple of pieces that cost me a fortune and I would like to go to someone that values them.  Maybe another blogger?  Just being at goal weight will be my gift!!  I don’t particularly want anything…… just to feel good.

 

PJ:-   Gorgeous, smart, rich and attentive you say?????  Fark the boogie…….I would swipe it off my face and go in for the tongue kiss before he knew what had struck him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

But going back a bit in your question…… I would say, “you have a piece of food or something stuck on your nose”…pretending I didn’t realise it was a booger.  I would grab a serviette and say, “Here, let me get it for you”.  lol, lol 

If he turned out to be a “dud”, then I would definitely bring up the boogie in my parting speech.  Like, “Well, fark you.  I knew you were a loser when I had to swipe that bloody great boogie off your farking nose……you tosser!! and let me tell you something….that boogie had more life in it than your weeny ever will !!!”

 

Cathie:-  My best birthday memory was getting Mary when I was 4yrs old.  I also got a pram to put her in.  Dolls didn’t have all that fancy fangled shit like “Chucky” voices and peeing their pants with them in my day!!!!!!!!!!!  I liked to bath her……so Dad punched a hole in her bum with a nail for me, so that the water would run out of her after her bath!!  I loved Mary…..still do.  In fact….I still have her.  She is now the grand old age of 44yrs!!!! 

I was still an only child at 4yrs…….Karen came along when I was five. I guess all good things must come to an end 🙂  So there was just me, Mary and my 50 or so imaginary friends!!  lol  “Santa” made all Mary’s clothes that coming Christmas too……little petticoats, pants, singlets, hats, overcoats, dresses etc….I loved them!!!  Thanks “Santa” 🙂mary-003

 Zena:-  I am sooooooo sorry I couldn’t get it to load.  I make a promise to you that I will learn from someone and get a video/soundbite on here for you as soon as I can.  Failing that call me on………. 008 008 spankme !!!!

 

Kaz…… I say this with love………..Bugger off…..ya know I am QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tracey:- It is getting late and I am only half way through planning the itinery for your long weekend on the “Big Island”.  So, I will dedicate my next post, or part thereof, to how you will be spending your long weekend!!

So, thanks for playing along…..gave me something to write about!!  I really appreciate all of your comments and love how we have a network of blogging friends on here!  It is fun and I love to post and write my thoughts.  I also love reading all of yours and leaving comments when I can.  Everyone is so helpful and always there when you need advice or just a pick me up……….thanks hornbags!!!!

I leave you with this thought…………………………………………………

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PS:   I put the names in a little bowl and got Ricky to draw one out………………..so get yourselves over to DIZ’S  blog (over in my bloglist….Dizbanded) and ask your question!!  Diz…you had better write up a blog explaining to your readers what you have to do 🙂

Here’s an idea……

Well, I don’t know what I did to the other post I had on this…..I went to edit and deleted it instead!! So, sorry Zenna.  Well, here’s my idea……

Let’s interview each other!!  I know, I know….brilliant!!!  So, I will start off.  You ask me a question in the comments and then I will do a new post and answer all the questions!  The catch being that I then get to nominate the next person to be interviewed!  and so on…….   Just a bit of fun.

Now, I might choose to answer your questions with the funniest thing I can think of or I might go all serious and ying yang on you……or I might answer with a photo.  If you ask me how many times a week I have sex…..of course, I am going to lie my arse off!!!!  If you ask me what my bedroom looks like I will take a photo and then rave on for pages and pages about how great a renovator I am and wax lyrical about my choice of feature wall paint 🙂  Ask anything really……. what colour underwear I’m wearing, how I met Ricky, how do I bath my dogs, describe my neighbourhood, my funniest memory, what do I want to be when I grow up…….. you get the drift. 

I think I will choose who to nominate next by putting all “question askers” into a bowl and pick the name out that way…… so beware…..I have some great questions for the next person 🙂

I will probably do the new “Interview” post on Sunday night…… so fire away!

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