I don’t think I am going to tell anybody else about me getting a lapband. It is just too draining on my “nice” side!! Nearly everybody has said, “But you’re not that big/fat/large!” I always try and politely explain to them the reasons…..ie: I have a BMI of 40, I am considered to be morbibly obese by medical professionals, I feel like crap, it is for my back as much as anything, if I can lose 40kgs think how much better my back/health will be etc etc Mostly they nod their heads and their eyes start to glaze over!
Now knowing that I am a goddess/hornbag of the highest callibre at the best of times…….I can see their point 🙂 Maybe I don’t look that big! I think I do…….end of story. I know I dress well for a big person…..but I still look like a big person in nice clothes!!!! We joke around all the time and I think my personality “smothers” the fact that I am not happy with how I am? My friends and I have this “hornbag” thing going on. If one of us says….”you look great today”, the other one says, “Yeah, I bloody know I do!!” It is our fun and the way we talk. We know we have faults…..but it is more fun to act like we are totally bloody up ourselves! In fact, if we were any further up ourselves we would be inside out!!!!
What the “bitch” side of me wants to say to these people is…….
Fark me!!!!!!!!!! What are you trying to say? Do you think I still look big….just not that big?! Because if that is what you are trying to say….then I rest my bloody case!!!! You still think I am BIG….so shut the fark up!!!! It’s all right for you, you skinny arsed bitch….I am the one that has to go to TENT CITY to buy my clothing!!!”…..or something along those lines 🙂
Then there are the people that say……why lapbanding?! Can’t you just try to stay on a diet? Ummmm well, let me see???? NO I don’t even attempt to explain this question. Only overweight people that have tried everything would ever understand the heartache of being a failure time after time. I am actually extremely good at losing weight…….I just keep putting it back on again!! I know there are some out there (at this point I would like to send a big cheerio to my mother-in-law) that just don’t understand!! They see it as a waste of money and some stupid easy way out! They give me “that look” ….. fark I hate that look!!! The, “you could lose weight like normal people if you tried harder!” look. Or one stage there it was the , “Why couldn’t you have married a nice, thin Jewish girl?” look. Usually she is pretty good and her and Ricky’s Dad are very supportive of most things we do……..but…….you know!!!!! I am sure they will warm to the idea and it will be smooth sailing eventually. I am tired…….just tired of the fight! I am sick of trying to justify my decision to people…..why should I have to? I feel I should, but I am not going to anymore. If it happens to come up in conversation, or they find out somehow and question me I am going to say,
“Because I can. This subject is not open for negotiation. You are entitled to your opinion, but I am going ahead with this for my benefit…not yours. I would appreciate your support………………end of story. “