1st APPOINTMENT WITH DR DREAMY..

I am calling him this because he makes dreams come true!!  Although the fact he is a total hunk o’ spunk doesn’t hurt any!! He has it goin’ on……ya here what I’m sayin’ ladeeezzzz????  …. here is my day…….

Up at 4am……I think I was awake on the hour every hour last night.  Couldn’t sleep because the day had finally arrived.  God, if I am like that before just seeing the man, what am I going to be like the night before surgery!!  Hit the road by 5am.  Basically a long, boring wet trip down to Hobart.  Although there was one bright spot!!…..all the way down the Midlands there are signs saying…”Sheep Poo $2 a bag”  or the posher properties had “Sheep Manure $2 bag”.  Then the bags of sh*t are piled to the side of the signs and you leave your two bucks in an honesty box and off you go to give your garden a big treat of sheep sh*t.   BUT there was one property that I loved and I would have paid them $3 for originality!  Their sign had a cartoon sheep in black and white painted on it and it read……”Baaberries $2 a bag”.  Cackled for ages after seeing that and I can’t wait until I am walking somewhere in a paddock with someone and there is sheep in there and I can yell out to them and say……”WATCH YA DON’T TREAD IN THE ……. BAABERRIES!!” It was raining too heavy to get out and take a photo or I would have! 🙂

Anyhooooo….got to Hobart, got the car parked in carpark over the road from private hospital and then went into little mall thing to get a coffee as we still had an hour to kill. Rick saw golf shop with CLOSING DOWN sign and in we went!!  Nearly $300 later….out we came again!!!!   It was the “bargain of the century”….APPARENTLY!!!!  One driver…..one driver….and it was 2nd hand!!!!!!!!!  Hardly a mark on it and normally they retail for around the $500 mark…..they reckon us girls are good?! I went and ordered coffee while he cradled his new baby back up to the car and tucked it in the backseat. I wouldn’t be suprised if he stopped in the darkened stairwell with it for a bit of one on one on the way!!!! I might try saying tonight …..”Hey honey…why don’t you hop into bed now…I have a  Callaway Hibore XL driver here with little ol me!!”….lol, lol

I should have called this blog….”but I digress”………………………….In the waiting room now………

Quarter hour early. Receptionist quite nice…. I can hear what she says on the phone…but hey…I like ear-wigging on her conversations anyway!!

decor 5 out of 10. – red chairs, red feature wall, boring pictures…the usual.  Although don’t chinese restaraunts always use the colour red because it is supposed to stimulate appetite!!??  Might have to rethink that colour scheme for the sake of your lapband patients Dr 🙂

magazines 6 out of 10 (there were actually 2008 ones on the table and NO Reader’s Digests!)….got some good ideas out of the Home Beautiful magazine.

chairs 8 out of 10-what a surprise…FAT people could fit in them quite comfortably…big points for looking after your number 1 money spinners – I mean clients!) 

 other people waiting…1 man and one elderly couple.   Hmmmmm boring!!!! 

 Oh and one lady that went in before I could properly suss her out.  She looked a little bit Morman,a little bit rock n roll and my guess is she was there because of some “problem”…maybe with her band, because she came out not long after and had to go down to xray. She was all hunched over and ohhh look at me, look at me….I am pitiful. The kind of woman you get the feeling all she needs is a good bitch slap!

 The elderly couple just read magazines and didn’t talk to each other and lonely guy just read.

 Elderly couple went in next. I am guessing he was the patient because of the way “he looked” and that he would sit in there while the missus did all the talking and question asking and then the poor old coot would leave none the wiser! 

 Then lonely guy went next…..he was quite skinny.  I whispered to Rick and said, “I reckon he is here for the same thing as me!! Rick tries not to look at me and told me to shut up while trying not to laugh – I love doing that to him:) ……then it was MY TURN….yeehaaaaaaa

He comes out and calls your name….then shakes your hand and leads you to his office.  I was sold at the shake your hand bit!!  Probably late 30’s, maybe early 40’s.  Trendy dresser, very smart, dark smoldering looks. Looks like he should be taking up a guest spot on Sex and the City!!  But hell of a nice guy and very easy to talk to.  Ricky really liked him. Not judgemental at all.  Asked a few questions and really seemed to listen to the answers I gave and what I thought, seemed to count with him.  He asked things like what had I tried in the past to lose weight, what did I expect from lapband……the usual stuff you would expect him to ask and he would have been remiss if he hadn’t. Then he went through showing the model stomach….noice!!  Rick found it interesting though.  Showed us the band….told us what could go wrong but probably wont.  Then he weighed me.  106kgs on his scales. Then got me to lay on the bed and he pointed to the spots where I would have little incisions and where the port would be and that sort of stuff. Then he hopped on his computer and we made a date……..yep……..me and Dr Dreamy have a date!!!!!  Unfortunately I will miss it due to being unconcious but he will obviously be ecstatic to have the opportunity to weave his magic on a goddess aka hornbag such as myself!!  How could I deprive the man of such a thrill !!!! 

My date with Dr Dreamy is the 16th October……13 days away!!!  Whoooooohoooooooo  I have to be at the hospital by 1pm and he will be operating around the 6pm mark. (Hey, Nicole…..I might have to miss your hen’s night honey depending on how I feel…sorry!) He said I should have a fairly good breakfast or brunch before coming in!!  No modifast…..nothing like that.  Just show up.  You know, I think that is better than other states that make you do modifast and everything beforehand.  Even having to get to a goal weight before they will operate.  Look……if you could stick to modifast and get to goal weights you wouldn’t friggin be considering lapband as far as I’m concerned!!!!  I think they say it shrinks the liver in preparation for surgery or some bullshit……but honestly. Just give the poor fat lady her surgery and let her get on with getting a life!!!!!!!

Dr Dreamy has HUGE surgery lists…packed out!!  Just imagine spending all day doing one lapband after another!!!  It would be like standing in front of a huge conveyer belt of lard!!  Poor man……then he goes home and his wife has cooked him pork chops or even a nice steak with a little bit of fat marbled through it…he would say, “Thanks snookims…..but I think I’ll just have the salad tonight!!”.. 🙂

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18 thoughts on “1st APPOINTMENT WITH DR DREAMY..

  1. Won’t be long now, Nola. I had it in my head that today was THE day, but then realized it was the appointment with Dr. Hunk. Now the real count-down begins.

    I’m going to be looking for me some of that oven cleaner! I hope that I can find some here in the States, if not, maybe the internet. You could be able to hold your friggin’ breath 3 minutes and still you end up breathing that fog in on every one I’ve tried. And to add insult to injury, you still have to scrub, even on those that say “wipes clean”. My ass… I’ve never found one that wipes clean. I loved this post. I’ll love it even more if I can get my mitts on that oven cleaner!

    Helen

  2. Nola, I just googled Selley’s Oven Plus to find out where I could get it and there you were, on the first page, about 5 down, “Murder On The Dance Floor”!
    Thought you’d get a kick out of knowing this.

    Helen

  3. omg Im so happy for you…not long now. OH and I did the google thingy too like Helen and bugger me dead…ur google famous lol.
    Margie
    xoxox

  4. How good is that!? he, he Helen, I will write to Selley’s in their “contact me section” and see if I can con them into sending you some as payment for my “free” commercial:) I will send you so some…..but not sure if that sort of thing would get through the post….being caustic and that sort of thing?

  5. It took me a bit, but I found your blog Nola. Thank you for the birthday wishes. I kind figured out what you meant on the first post. You’re very kind, and very funny – I read some of your blog. The g-string bit made me chuckle.

  6. Thanks for commenting on my blog. Yours is a joy to read. You have a wonderful sense of humor. (In all my years of driving, including from the west coast of the U.S. to the east coast and back again, I’ve never seen signs such as the ones you describe.

  7. well fark me nola, your own sister had to come on your site to see how your day went. heellllloooo have you heard of a phone….

    I love your site you are so good at writing, scary it must be mum coming out in you, hope you don’t go as loopy as her though hehe

    sounds like your appointment was fine then, and I am not going to be one of these people that say ‘you go girl and that crap’ because I don’t understand at all what you are feeling and achieving as I have never had to shop at tent city. But I will say this very loudly I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!! and happy banding. Oh I forgot if you have any left overs in the fridge like caramel tarts or something like that on the day of surgery, just drop them at my place on the way to hobart, I know, its the least I can do.

  8. he, he, he…..you really make me laugh!!!!! I am actually cleaning out the pantry right now! I just threw some Nutri Grain bars in the bin…..want me to fish them back out!?
    Ummmm, Kaz…..excuuuse moi???….Mum reads this blog!!! No bloody wonder I’m her favourite!!!!!

  9. don’t worry sis, she will read it and then forget about it 5 mins later….oh shit did i say that out loud.

    i meant loopy in an einstein brainy way mum..xxxxlove you.

    there that should do it nola….hahaha

  10. Mmmmmmm! All the people responding to the comments on this blog seem very nice …. much nicer than my daughters … LOL

    I’m sure that they would not wait for a truck to run over their mother … oh yes! I was over the other side of the road when Nola lived near a hill that trucks travelled down regularly and she waited for one to start the hill run and then called me for afternoon tea!

    and Karen – well she has this little girl called Gloria who is a latch key child – well poor little Gloria, pitiful little thing, gets dumped at Nanny and Poppy’s every morning, well not every morning but the mornings that her mother and father both work – she pines for a proper family life where she can stay at home and play with her own toys and eat her own food – if her mother gives her any, which we doubt!

    Nola – the wheel turns that oven cleaner you are talking about – years ago a similar (probably the same) was sold in a little tin with a brush and it was gel and you brushed it on and it was very good and then all the supposedly wonderful modern spray ones came out and it disappeared from the supermarket shelves –

    why am I telling you this here – I’ll see you tomorrow!

    another wheel turns moment: It seems like only yesterday we were suckered into putting our photos onto our nice and affordable? Personal computers – digital!

  11. Now look what you’ve done ya little bitch!!!…you have drawn her out of her “orbit” and compelled her to comment on my blog!!!!!
    I feel the need to clarify that Karen’s child, Gloria……is a dog!!!
    Tomorrow??…you will see me tomorrow?? I’m sure we were doing something tomorrow!!!!

  12. Woohoo!! Bet you are bloody excited, and don’t worry about the hens night, as long as your fabulous self makes it to the wedding then I will be excited!!! Are you counting in sleeps, days or hours yet??

    Nic xx

  13. WOW!!! I cant believe next week it is all happening. I am so excited for you. Keep the blogs coming they are the best part of a boring work day 🙂

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