It’s Murder on the Dance Floor…

It’s murder on the dance floor but you betta not kill the groove….DJ we’re gonna turn this house around some how!!  It’s murder on the dance floor but you betta not steal the mooooovesss!!!  hey, hey, hey…yeahhhhhhh

I have to say I am a total farking legend in my own loungeroom sometimes!!!  I love putting the music on LOUD and getting stuck into my housework.  Trouble is….I get so carried away with the music I waste so much time SHAKIN’ MY GOOD THANG that it takes me twice as long to get it done! Don’t matter what your age, baby….still got it in me to rage!!!  I am having the best housework day with a few detours to the computer screen:)  If anybody ever got a video of me on one of my home alone housework days I am pretty sure the men in little white coats would be round in a flash to cart me away! Hell, I don’t even need a glass of wine to “get down and dirty with it”..he, he 

Here’s a little tip from someone that is renovating and just got new flooring……..

Take your dogs to the shop with you when choosing floor coverings.  Sit them down on the samples and pick out one that is closest to the colour of your dog’s (or cat’s) fur!  Do not….I repeat….do not……get black floor tiles if you have a white Jack Russell !!!! Also, get your dog to walk through a muddy puddle and roll in some freshly cut grass and perhaps a wallaby dropping before entering the store.  Then, get them to walk on some carpet samples.  Whichever sample the wet footprints blend into…….buy that one!!!!!  I swear, my dog Harry is a direct decendant of Spongebob Squarepants!!!  Better still, when choosing your pets, try and get them so they all belong to the one colour family.

I always suffer a bit with my back after a big housework day.  I get very “proppy” and tend to get “stuck” the next day after resting overnight.  It just occurred to me that it could be the dancing and not the housework……helllllooooo????  Looks like I will have to hire a cleaner…because I am not giving up my shimmy shaking.  It makes me feel happy!!!! 🙂  I start getting that “stick up my bum” walk going on and Ricky gets all concerned and makes me coffee and washes up after tea and that sort of thing. 

 I say, “Oh, I cleaned the oven out and Ajaxed the bathroom today. That must have upset my back.”  *sigh* *hobble about*…..”can I have a bit more milk in this darling?”……………………………He says, “You should leave the bathroom for me to do!”……I say, “I know, but you know how much I like the house to be tidy and you have been working yourself”.  No way am I going to divulge my discovery that it could actually be dancing that does it!!!!!!  Work it baby…work it!!!!!!

Some of my friends that read this have seen me dance……admit it you lot… know I have it goin’ on sista!!  I just love music and for the sizeable hornbag that I am … I’ve got the mooooveeessss!!!! Did I tell you I am also really up myself??  lol, lol

I have a cleaning goods fetish…..along with my linen fetish, my bag fetish and my sunglasses fetish…oh, and my “general homewares” fetish.  I love it in the supermarket sniffing all the new stuff and the carpet freshners and anything new and improved. I love sitting back after a particularly frenzied cleaning day and just breathing in the smell of a pristine house. I love the smell of cleaning products…… if I come home from work and Ricky has used some cleaning products and I get a whiff of them…….pure porn!!  Bugger the flowers or jewellery.  If that man has been using cleaning products……hubba hubba!!!!….but I digress….again!!

Top of my hate list for cleaning is the oven……I hate cleaning the oven!! I hate the smell of that spray oven cleaner or any of the other ones I have tried, like the ones you sit inside for an hour and let the fumes do the work. Bullshit they do the work!!!  Still have to scrub like a mad woman to get the grime off. I spray the roof of the oven then back out of the room to take a breath….then I run in again and spray the sides…then back out and breathe…then the bottom then slam the door and go outside to try and recover.  You know those sprays that claim to be “low fume”?  Compared to farking what!!????…compared to sticking your head up the exhaust pipe of a B-double truck, that’s what!!!!!  Well, whilst I was sniffing and feeling up the cleaning products in the supermarket aisle the other day I found a new product.  I used it today…..I am in love. 

 I love this product so much I might clean the oven again next week!!!!!!!  It is a gel and it has a brush on the top of it… you squeeze the gel out and rub it around the oven with it’s little brush.  And guess what?…….NO FUMES.  It actually smells quite pleasant.  Put it on a cold oven and wait half an hour.  And guess what else??…….IT FARKING WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I swear to God, I was like a TV commercial.  I wished someone would visit me so I could share this new product and the no fumes really works revelation!!!!!  Even the oven racks were really grotty with BAKED ON GRIME (picture me in a frilly apron holding up the product now please!) and the grime just washed away…..NO SCRUBBING!!!!!!!!!!!  If I was a millionaire I would buy the bloody company.  What is this fantastic product I hear you ask…..pleeeeezzzzeeee Nola, tell us, tell us!!!!

Well it is SELLEYS OVEN PLUS, no fumes, Heavy duty gel. It comes in a 400ml squishy white bottle with handy finger grips up the side!!  Can’t remember how much it cost….but who cares!!??????


I’m getting the hang of this “back to front” camera thing!!  Well, you know what this is a picture of……me and Mr Selley gettin’ jiggy with it” !!!!!  Now, I just have to figure out what I can cook in my other appliances (did I mention my appliance fetish?) because I don’t want to use the oven now  it is so clean!!

Well, tomorrow is the big day… appointment with the surgeon. Dr Dreamy.  We will be getting up at 4am and heading off around 5am for the 4hr drive to Hobart.  My appointment is at 10am…..then the drive back home I guess!  Have to say I am pretty excited about getting a surgery date off him……well, I hope I do!!  I will tell you all about that tomorrow night …… stay tuned my little domestic goddesses!


11 thoughts on “It’s Murder on the Dance Floor…

  1. I have to say the following:
    I have seen the girl in action and let me tell you all…..SHE HAS GOT IT GOIN’ ON……she can bust a move better than Beyonce and she shakes her groove thang better than Mimi from Drew Carey…

    Picture this….two voluptuous goddesses, two twist n tones (from avon), the Shangrilas singing Leader of the Pack and a wine or two or three or…oh shit you get the picture…anyway that was us and she puts on a mean show in the bust a move department…left me for dead….oh and she can sing too….Celine Dion eat your heart out baby…..

    Anyway will be thinking of you Friday….I know all will go swimmingly but I’ll have you in my thoughts anyways. Hope to chat with you soon.
    Love Margie

  2. Bahhh, phhttt…Beyonce’s a novice!!!!……..ahh, the old “Twist n Tone” from Avon. I’ve still got that you know!! lol
    I have decided to tell Ricky I want Singstar for Christmas!!

  3. Thank you Nola!!!

    You are not going to beleive this, but I have only cleaned the oven in this house once. Ever.

    We built the house 8 years ago. Isn’t that disgusting?

    Well…I have a reason. I nearly farking killed everyone last time I did it, so I have never been game to do it again.

    I must not have cleaned all the residual off the insides and the next meal I cooked was contanimated, we all ended up very very sick.

    Really sick.

    They all blamed me of course, so i swore I would never clean the oven again, and you know what every other person in the house thinks about cleaning the oven? They don’t!

    So, I am going to go out and buy some Selleys tomorrow and hopefully live to tell the tale.

    I will end as I started, by saying Thank You Nola.

  4. Yes, yes!!! Praise the Lord…..I have helped one other poor lost soul in their quest for a clean oven that is hassle free!!!!!Mwahhhhhh I hadn’t cleaned our oven either since we did the new kitchen……nearly two years….*hanging head in shame* I just turned the oven on to see if it “stunk” and fumes came out…and it doesn’t!! I left it on for around 1hr (it says half an hour), then I wiped out the main grot with paper towel and then the wet cloth after that. There was only one bit I had to “scrub” on the bottom….but it came off easy:) Let me know what you think! 🙂

  5. Love the post…had me laughing, but heyyyyyy will be trying the oven cleaner….or leave it for my house cleaner anyways, hehehehe!!
    Thanks for dropping in on my blog…..have added you to my list, hope you don’t mind.


  6. Ah, love the signing nights, especially ABBA with a couple of wines under the belt. You most definitely will be a sing star champion goddess!! YOU ROCK!!

    Nic 😉

  7. oh what a wow she’s the greatest dancer, oh what a wow………hold me back sister. You should see her when she sings into the lampstand, she is a legend. sigh always walking in the shadow of my sister….. one day grasshopper will be like her…….love you babe

  8. MMMMMMMM. Mmmmmmmmm The people on here seem very nice – much nicer than my daughters!

    Nola once lived near a hill that big trucks travelled regularly. Her father and I were in the paddock over the road when she waited for a truck to start its hill run and then she called us for afternoon tea!

    And as for Karen. She has this tiny little girl called Gloria who is a latch key child and gets dumped at her Nanny and Poppys every day , poor pitiful skinny little thing would like to stay at home and play with toys like normal little girls with proper mummys and daddys but no she has to get up early every morning in the cold (snow) well maybe not snow but cold! No dressing gown, no shoes on her feet – naked!!!!

    I typed a whole heap of trash a minute ago and it disappeared now I can’t remember it – Oh well – I am doing this in word and I will copy and paste

    Nola that oven cleaner or something very like it was once sold in a little tin with a brush and it was very good then, that was before we were suckered into thinking that everything in a spray can had to be better.

    The wheel turns again. Went into a camera shop in Devonport today and remember when we were cajoled into storing all our photos digitally when pcs became affordable and they all disappeared into a blackhole and were never seen again because you couldn’t fit all your visitors into the computer room and there was only one chair so nobody could be bothered looking at them.? Well this shop had a sign up saying: turn your digital prints into PROPER photos today.

    Why am I telling you this here – I’ll see you tomorrow./

    Oh yes – I suppose – if I must – say it……… I …….L…..uh… errr – ve you both. Phew.

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