This is how I feel today!!! I think I am on overload…..information overload! I have to stop reading so much about lapbanding…I am getting saturated with everything and losing sight of the big picture……that would be me and my health!! I have done nothing but surf around the net reading everything on lapbanding and hundreds of blogs (but I doooo have my favourites:) ). I keep reading about slime and productive burping and I am starting to freak myself out here. I dreamt I vomited up my stomach last night!!…ploise!!!
We don’t have to see shrinks and nutritionists before we have surgery here in this state. Probably not a good thing…but that is how it is. We just turn up, speak to surgeon (I am guessing he does a bit of sussing you out and checking your attitude and fat arse) and then you get given the date. You turn up, have the surgery, probably get given advice etc…go home and get started on losing the weight. I have decided that I am going to book in to see a nutritionist anyway off my own bat. I want to make sure I am eating….or sucking the shit out of……..enough protien. Like, I read that in the liquid stage, anything that fits up a straw is basically the go………. now I have seen some big things fit up a straw in my time!!!!!!…….but I digress………
I also brought some Modifast today. I am going to start it on Saturday and do a week of it before I see the surgeon on Friday. I meant to do a fortnight on it…..but I thought my appointment was still two weeks or more away until I made that vets appointment in my last blog…..for the dog, not me!!!!! I will weigh myself in the morning and then tell him on Friday how I have gone. I just want him to see I am deadly serious and have done my research and I don’t want him telling me no!!!!
I might have a bloody post traumatic stress incident over the Modifast….but I guess I will cope!! I went on that glue for 8 weeks to get into the police force many moons ago….and the memory is still very vivid!! (does green poo ring any bells for anyone?)
The last two days have not been good for me. Very bad with my back and keep getting “stuck”. I have been walking around like I have a stick up my bum…..good look!! I have also been feeling a bit of a sad sack…no idea why….just have those times when you don’t feel up to par and on the verge of tears for no reason. Well, I do anyway!! Not very often mind you…… about every 6 months:) I think when I have a bad go with the back and then not much sleep then struggle through days….then no sleep…etc etc and you get on a bit of a round-a-bout. I don’t think it is hormonal. I take them every morning out of a packet and I usually cruise along flat-lining with the hormone thing!! I am lucky in that respect I suppose. One thing I do know is that I will snap out of it and all will be fine:)
I have my painkillers…..and then I have my painkillers!! Ones I take for average pain and then the stronger forte ones for bad nights. I am going to take them tonight……yeehaaaaaa Actually, I don’t like taking them much because even though they get me some sleep I don’t think it is a good sleep. Plus I feel a bit like I have a hangover in the morning. However, sometimes that is what it takes to shove me off afore mentioned round a bout!!
So, that’s it from me for now…….I have some pills and I’m gonna eat them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!