Give the dangerous drama queen her food!

In the last three days I have eaten enough to feed a third world country.  Yep, I have.  I have been a total pig.  I do not feel good….I feel disgusting.  I don’t know what came over me.  I think I slipped into a …..”oh, well…I am going to have lapband surgery soon, so I might just shovel as much crap as I possibly can into my mouth now while the going is good!! ”  Wednesday included, but not limited to, caramel “mushroom thingy” tart whatsit from the bakery and a scallop pie.  Last day of holidays so I “treated” myself and took it home with a new mag and just sat and ate.  Can’t remember what I had for tea….but is wasn’t good. Yesterday, back into bad habits with a cappucinno on the way to work….toasted focaccia for lunch…a chai latte at morning tea….patties, eggs and chips for tea………”sigh”

And today…….OMG!!!!!! Same deal on the way to work, out for staff lunch (small seafood pizza)…and…hello!!!!!!!…..Kentucky chuck for tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel really uncomfortable now…..but here’s the catch….

I could still murder an icecream or something!  Why is that?  I haven’t walked for the last two days either.

I am not hungry…..I know that. I just like the taste of stuff and the experience of eating I think? I love flavours and textures and the whole experience of eating! You know, I can’t tell you the last time I would have eaten because I was actually hungry!  Not that stomach rumbling, eat the crutch out of a rag doll type of hunger.  I don’t think my stomach has ever had the chance to take a rest and process what is in there before the next lot comes hurtling down the processing line!  And, the minute I think there might be a possibility I could be deprived of my “tasty” gratifying food feasts I get quite snippy and moody……you know, like when I decide to diet!!!!!  I don’t know………

I get all “woe is me” and “it isn’t fair” !!!!  wahhh wahhh wahhh   Why do I have to starve to lose weight….why can’t I eat what I want???? I know what it takes and I know what I have to do and I damn well know that baked beans on a bit of wholemeal toast would have been a whole lot better than a farking scallop pie with a caramel tart chaser………..but putting it into practice???….who moi???

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6 thoughts on “Give the dangerous drama queen her food!

  1. my god nola, what were you thinking!!! still love you though………bit pissed off that you didn’t tell me you had caramel tart at home I would have been down in a flash to help ease the burden and eat it for you. love your sister

  2. God, I love those Caramel tarts as well. I v’e done the same thing the last few days, but now enough is enough, time to get serious.

  3. You know what? have the lapband with unearth all the REAL reasons why you eat… you won’t be able to cover any emotional issues by stuffing your face.. it’s amazing what happens. Be prepared for a funky rocky ride.. but it is so worth it in the end 🙂

    P.S. I’ve been banded over 1.5 years and I still want to “stuff my face”. The urge never goes away, the great thing is, is that the band physically stops you and you have to get over it! 🙂

  4. Hi there – thanks for visitng my blog. I’m glad I returned the visit as I am glad to find another woman who knows just how I feel about food. My husband is away for the week and his presence usually keeps me from being too overindulgent, but this week I have eaten so much rubbish (and felt horrible afterwards) and I think it was just for company after the children had gone to bed!

    Good luck with the surgery!

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