In the last three days I have eaten enough to feed a third world country. Yep, I have. I have been a total pig. I do not feel good….I feel disgusting. I don’t know what came over me. I think I slipped into a …..”oh, well…I am going to have lapband surgery soon, so I might just shovel as much crap as I possibly can into my mouth now while the going is good!! ” Wednesday included, but not limited to, caramel “mushroom thingy” tart whatsit from the bakery and a scallop pie. Last day of holidays so I “treated” myself and took it home with a new mag and just sat and ate. Can’t remember what I had for tea….but is wasn’t good. Yesterday, back into bad habits with a cappucinno on the way to work….toasted focaccia for lunch…a chai latte at morning tea….patties, eggs and chips for tea………”sigh”
And today…….OMG!!!!!! Same deal on the way to work, out for staff lunch (small seafood pizza)…and…hello!!!!!!!…..Kentucky chuck for tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel really uncomfortable now…..but here’s the catch….
I could still murder an icecream or something! Why is that? I haven’t walked for the last two days either.
I am not hungry…..I know that. I just like the taste of stuff and the experience of eating I think? I love flavours and textures and the whole experience of eating! You know, I can’t tell you the last time I would have eaten because I was actually hungry! Not that stomach rumbling, eat the crutch out of a rag doll type of hunger. I don’t think my stomach has ever had the chance to take a rest and process what is in there before the next lot comes hurtling down the processing line! And, the minute I think there might be a possibility I could be deprived of my “tasty” gratifying food feasts I get quite snippy and moody……you know, like when I decide to diet!!!!! I don’t know………
I get all “woe is me” and “it isn’t fair” !!!! wahhh wahhh wahhh Why do I have to starve to lose weight….why can’t I eat what I want???? I know what it takes and I know what I have to do and I damn well know that baked beans on a bit of wholemeal toast would have been a whole lot better than a farking scallop pie with a caramel tart chaser………..but putting it into practice???….who moi???