20kgs down pictures………

                            

 

                                                                                                         

                                                    

 

                                            

Hi there,

I got Reagan to take these “Blue Wiggle” shots at work yesterday.  I have been getting a bit down about how long it is taking me to lose this blubber……..or at least get into the 80’s.  I needed to see if there was a difference I could see!! I hadn’t put any pictures side by side before.  I took the first ones the week after my operation.  I was wearing a reasonably loose shirt because I hate anything that “clings” to my back fat!!!!  Yesterday I was wearing a black vest over the blue skivvy.  A vest, I might add, that wouldn’t do up on me at the time the first photos were taken   I took the vest off for the purposes of the photo and so I didn’t come up as a black blob with blue arms!  Well…..at least I can say the back fat is shrinking!!

I do feel different…………….no doubt about it.  I was to the stage where I was “lumbering” around and “heaving” myself up from a sitting postion.  I feel sooooooo much more comfortable now and move with much more ease.  I cross my legs now and “spring” up from a sitting position (most days )  Maybe it is slow……but by God…….it’s working!!!!!   I feel better now………think I just had a case of the SADS!!!!

Damage Control….

You know I have been having a few problems with spewing lately?  Of course you do……I’m a sharer   Well, it has got a bit beyond a joke the last few days.  The final straw came yesterday morning when I spewed up my beloved porridge and natural bran breakfast!  Well, the first three and only mouthfuls I took of it anyway……… lucky my dogs love porridge, hey ?!! (Not what I spewed…….what was left in the bloody bowl !!  geeezzzzz!!)

I think I can pinpoint what started all this.  I cooked little lambchops and vegetables about two weeks ago.  Pre-band I could easilly slam down at least four of these tasty babies and eat all the accompanying vegetables with, perhaps, a dollop of sour cream and plenty of butter and salt and pepper…………..  *drool*.  They are also Ricky’s favourite thing in the meat line.  Soooooooo, anywaaayyyyyyyy……………..

I served myself up one on my “special” bread and butter size plate and some vegetables.  I was really looking forward to it.  I knew the drill…….chew, chew, chew….blah, blah, blah.  I had a couple of mouthfuls of the tasty, fatty tail bit and then some vegetable.  Then bam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Excruciating pain……excessive saliva factory starts up in my mouth….eyes start to water……breathing becomes difficult and I feel it bubbling up my bloody throat.  Slam my plate down and rush up to the loo……………blahhhhhhhhhhh   Spew Town revisited. 

Except……..this time it was different.  I didn’t feel immediate relief.  I couldn’t just chastise myself for eating too quickly or not chewing enough.  Hell, I couldn’t even think straight to lay the blame on anything!!!!  I was in absolute agony.  I had shoulder pain, gut pain, leg pain, head pain, finger pain………..well, you get the drift   I felt really sick….like a real sick person!!! I suppose this feeling lasted for nearly a bloody hour with intermittent heaving up of phlem and bits of chop and vegetable……………noice!! I tried drinking water and even that bubbled back up.  Not to be outdone I tried coffee….same. It really wore me out and I went to bed feeling like shit and wishing that somebody would come and remove the elephant that had crawled down my throat and was sitting on my ribcage!!

Now, I don’t know, because I can only go on what I read about others and their experiences…… but I think I might have experienced my first “stuck” experience…… or blockage or whatever you want to call it.  I think my other experiences have just been because I didn’t chew or ate too quickly and things “backed up” the plughole a bit……and spewing removed it and off you go again all good!!  This time I think something had stayed there….blocking the plughole and was still there the next day.  I just felt uncomfortable the next day……..like a really good swig of Draino would do the trick

But did I take that as a lesson learnt and ease off for a few days???  Oh no, no, no!!!!!  I am one to always test these theories!!!!  So, I went back to my happy la la land place and continued on my merry grazing ways.  So, over the last week I have had maybe one “productive burp” a day!!!

Why do we call them productive burps????  A productive burp, I assume, is a burp that is productive in some way….ie” it produces unprocessed food that comes back up into your mouth??  It can also produce damning stares from passers-by and other assorted reactions if done loudly.  I like to muffle mine and keep my mouth closed…………a closet burper if you will   As far as I am concerned………….anything that causes food that went down your throat to actually come back up your throat and into your mouth is spewing!!!  Doesn’t matter that it didn’t pass the band doorkeeper and doesn’t have an “admit one “stamp on it……. it was still down there………so it’s spew!!!!!  I think if it passed the doorkeeper and had been “in the premises” for more than half an hour and then you were sick……that would be vomit.  Like dinky die vomit……………the smelly, have been down there mixing with other gut gasses,  I am in dire straits vomit that makes you want to vomit along with the vomit-ee.  Know what I mean??  Of course you do!!!!  Spew is the “underage” vomit that never got let into the premises and hasn’t even been digested. The youngster that just wants out before you ring it’s parents!!!    So, spew it is………………………….but I digress………………………………….

So, I have been spewing for a week on and off now.  I have been getting really shitty because I have been feeling hungry.  So…..I wait for the pain to subside and then I do it again!!!! I try to eat just a little bit more of whatever was giving me the pain……..and then I spew!!!  How farking dumb am I?????  Then I give up.  I mean……I bet if you gave a monkey an electric shock everytime it reached for a certain food it would learn after the third try that it should avoid that food……………………. so……………………………..I am dumber than a farking monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Actually…I think that is being a bit harsh on the poor monkey)

So…..anyhooooo…….I have come to my senses and have decided to put myself on enforced liquids/slushy mushies for a week.  I am pretty sure if I rang Dr Dreamy that would be his first line of attack anyway.  I am certain I don’t need any fill out.  I think what I have done is aggravate my band on the first “stuck chop” occassion and then, because I am a monkey, have made it swollen and sore from trying to shove more “rough” food through it every day of the farking week since the chop incident????…….  yeah…..I know I am right!!!  So, I will give myself a week on slushie mushies and then try some “rough” foods at the end of that.  If it is still not right……….then I will go see Dr Dreamy.

So this morning I made a lovely smoothie thingy in my blender with an Up & Go banana & honey breakfast drink, a couple of blobs of honey & banana yoghurt, 2 teaspoons of Benefibre, and a banana………. delicious!!!  I have to tell you something…………………………….I love bananas!!!!    Then we had a great day out with my sister and her husband and went to the caves at Mole Creek.  Karen and Dean were calling it Slut River……………………and it took me half the day to bloody “get it”……duhhhhhhhh  We stopped at a nice place for a late lunch.  They didn’t have much for a mushie eater…….so I had a custard tart and a skinny latte and just ate the middle out of the tart with a spoon…..classy!! 

Also…..  I have folded under the pressure and got myself on Facebook!!  You can find me by user name of   nolam  or I think it works if you type   facebook.com/nolam              I have heaps more photos on there and todays photos from the cave trip.  You might have to become my friend to see them though………..  how’s that for blackmail   Here is a photo of me and Karen taken today…………………………

 

Weekend photos…..

On Sunday we went to Cradle Mountain which is about one and a half hours drive South from here.  We got married there 18 yrs ago May just gone……….where did that time go!!??  It was a fabulous wedding really.  We got married late morning and then had a lunch reception. We had quite a few interstate friends who made a weekend of it.  We all stayed the night before and the night of the wedding in the cabins and had a wonderful time!

It was a reasonable day weather wise, although a bit chilly!

You should google Cradle Mountain Tasmania and have a look……….too beautiful and world renowned.

On the way there…………………

The Lodge where we got married.  We actually moved the ceremony inside because it rained on the day….but still enjoyable and just as nice….

The stairs we stood on for the ceremony………………….

And signed our wedding certificate on this bar…..explains a lot!!

Then we took what is called the Enchanted Walk………………I took some lovely “arty farty” shots for your enjoyment……

So, there you go……..a little walk with me on the Enchanted Walk.  A very pleasant way to spend a Sunday.

Crossed to the “darkside”………..

I went to Target yesterday to look for some plain black trousers for work……………………………..

At the time of my lapband surgery I was wearing size 20 trousers from the “Big Arse” section.  The last pair I brought was a size 16 from the “Big Arse” section and they are now getting a bit baggy in the bum.  So, I thought………why not torture myself in my lunchhour and go try some trousers on from the “Normal Person’s” section?  I thought I might be lucky enough to find an 18 that fitted?

So I skulked up and down the racks and found three different designs in black trousers in 18’s, thinking this would really be a wasted exercise!  One thing I like about good old Target is that they have lovely big fitting rooms with good lighting and lots of mirrors, so you can check out your fat arse from all angles………delightful

The first pair went over my thighs……..you know how you sneak up on something????  I just stood there for a minute with the trousers only up over my thighs trying to let it sink in that they went over my thighs!  Then I thought, “Keep going……you might as well try and do them up. No need to be disappointed……they would never have gone over your thighs a couple of months ago!”  So, I pulled them up and zipped them up and then just stood there like a mental person grinning at myself in the mirror.  They were a bit BIG!!!!  The bloody waist was TOO BIG!!!  The same thing with the 2nd and 3rd pair.  I actually didn’t like the style of two of the pairs on me……………….ummmmm   I had a choice??!!  So, I gathered them up and went back out to the racks and found a size 16 in the style I like and went back to the fitting room with them. 

Same deal…..I kind of sneaked up on them ……first the thighs….not too tight, not too “clowny”.  Then the “doing up of the waist” ceremony……………..victory!!!!!!!

When I first went into that fitting room all I was thinking about initially was the dirty great hole in my right sock.  Thankful, of course, that my toenail was at least painted a fetching red even though it drew attention to the hole even more   I just knew that whoever was in the fitting room next to me could see this hole and would be thinking, “Wow…have a look at that beautifully painted toenail.  Must be a hornbag in the room next to me!!”

Even so…..we are strange creatures are we not?  I checked the inside tag to make sure I hadn’t tried on the wrong size and the whole time my mind was saying…..”Oh yes, but Target a a much bigger fit than other stores”.  Why can’t we just accept that we fit into a smaller size!!?  I could “hear” myself thinking this.  I was thrilled to bits but still had thoughts of this nature.  I don’t know………………..  I think because I have been so overweight for so long that the mental side of things is going to take a little longer to catch up!

So, heellllooooo world…………….next week I will be wearing a NORMAL PERSON’S  size 16 to work!!!  One of my more memorable non scale victories to date.  I honestly can’t remember when I haven’t shopped in the “Fat Arse” sections of stores or online.  You know shops like Autographs or Rockmans??  One side of the shop is “Fat Arse” sizes and the other is “Normal” sizes?  Well, I used to refer to the normal side as the “Darkside”……………when shopping with my sister or whatever and we went to these shops I would say……”You go over and have a look in the darkside while I go in here and check out the fatarse side.” 

So, I am prepared for the challenge…………………… I am going to try crossing over to the darkside on my next trip to the shops…………………….Farking Hell…………………I love being EVIL..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

There is a bit of public debate going on here at the moment about putting lapband surgery on the public hospital list.  I, for one, think it is a good idea.  I think in the long run it would save  money being spent in the public system on obesity related illnesses.  Such as diabetes and heart disease and things like that……why not try and “nip it in the bud” before people develop these things?  I found this which kind of says it all…………………….

 

The Magistrate’s Loo……

Where did that last week and a bit go??!  I was going to blog last night, but my husband was on the computer immersed in a puzzle/find it game and I didn’t have the heart to kick him off!!  Considering it is usually my arse plastered to the computer chair most evenings I thought I should let him have a turn.  I am considerate and selfless like that

How’s my band life been going???  Glad you asked!!……………………..For the last week I have been quite tight and then I wasn’t tight and then I was tight etc etc etc.  Some weeks it totally bamboozles me and I just can’t figure out what makes it do what it does.  One day I feel hungry and eat well…..the next I gag on water!!  It was my “long” work week ,which poses it’s own set of problems, in that I am too lazy to do much exercise when I get home and it is dark and cold.  I also run the gauntlet of the fundraising chocolates and lollies sitting on the counter and usually lose the fight at about 3pm!! 

Anyhoooooo……I had two nasty spew incidents this last week.  The first one I had just taken a bite of my wholemeal cheese and vegemite sanga around 11am at my desk and the phone rang……so I must have swallowed too quickly without chewing properly.  I was talking to the guy from prosecution and I felt the saliva well-up in my mouth and my eyes started to pop out of my head and I knew I was going to bring it up……….so I took the phone up to Penny’s desk and threw it at her saying, “Can you take over this call?” and ran like blazes down to the toilet and heaved it up again!!

In these circumstances……I am glad the girls at work know about my band!!  I thanked Penny profusely on my return and proceeded to explain in detail that it isn’t actually vomit…..but undigested, gluggy sandwich garnished with phlem that was heaved back up.  She loves it when I go into detail like that for her…….

The next day I was having my sandwich again around the same time. I had run out of water in my bottle, so decided to head down to the Magistrate’s chambers kitchenette to refill it.  The Magistrate has a water station thingy in there and he lets us fill up our bottles whenever we want.  So, I am heading through the public waiting area of the court towards the first set of double doors that lead into the courts and whammo!!! I felt that eye popping, mouth watering…..no holding back feeling come over me!!  It just happens out of the blue and you have absolutely no control over it. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.  Should I turn back or forge ahead???…..I kept going.

  Well, I can’t open my mouth in front of the waiting defendants, so I break into a bit of a trot across the floor and slam through the first set of double doors.  Then there is another set of double doors that I have to swipe my security card through……….I can hardly see what I am swiping at from the tears in my eyes. The pain is indescribable during one of these episodes and my eyes turn red and water and I just gulp like a bloody guppy fish!!!  So now I am in another section of the corridor facing another set of doors!! By this stage I am getting desperate and thinking I am not going to make it to the sink in the kitchenette before I spew. 

I have my security card hanging around my neck and I am pulling at it trying to swipe the bloody thing over the sensor thingy.  I could’nt see properly and was starting to panic a bit too…………so I nearly strangled myself in the process with the neck cord!!  It got tangled up in my necklace in my hurried panic.  I am trying to swipe, untangle so I could breathe and hold in the spew all at the same time!!  Finally through the doors and then I see the Magistrates toilet on the right side just through the doors……..

OMG!!!!  This was the holy grail of spewing spots.  I had never been into HIS HONOURS LOO.  Should I?,  could I??  Would I???……….You bet your arse I did!!!!    The door to the holy grail was open…… I expected to see a shaft of golden sunlight streaming out from the white porcelain.  I pushed open the 2nd door and there it was……..His Honour’s throne.  It was even up on a bit of a pedestal made of the finest cement I’m sure.  The bowl was up beckoning me much like a crisp, white sheet turned down in a five star hotel room………I made the dive.  Sweet relief!!!!  I am thinking, besides my face, there has only been HIS HONOUR’S ARSE gracing this sacred porcelain dish.  I think that made me spew some more!!  All was quiet and peaceful in my world.  Court was in session and I was thankful for that!!!!  So HE wasn’t in his chambers and therefore, couldn’t hear me spewing or doing the “royal” flush!!

So, I slipped into his chambers while I was at it and checked my face in his mirror!!!!!  I STOLE a tissue from the box on his desk and wiped off the smudged mascara, filled up my water bottle and left the scene of the crime.  I went back to my desk, threw away the rest of my sandwich and went and made a cup of soup because I was still hungry!!!!  Oh, and I told Penny…………….. it was such a big deal I just couldn’t keep it to myself……………. funny that??!!..aayy Penny

The other exciting thing that happened to me this week???…………………….I received this in the mail………

 

I got the “lady with a crack” to model it for you.  It is the most beautiful hand knitted bag in (coincidently) all of my favourite colours!!!!!  I won Sylvia’s (The First Day of the Rest of my Life, Docsly ) 100th blog post prize and this arrived all the way from the U S of A on Thursday.  Sylvia………thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!  I absolutely love it and it will be treasured, and used, forever!!!  Wow, you are so talented and I am absolutely thrilled to have received such a magnificent gift!!!  I’m speechless

Also, I just wanted to wish “The Dash” all the best.  She was being banded yesterday.  I am thinking of you and can’t wait to hear how it all went.  Also, my brother-in-law is being banded on Monday.  I am very proud of him and know he will do well and this step will change his life!!!  It is a bigger deal for a “bloke” I think?  However, don’t ring me…..I’ll ring you, OK???    I will be with you both in spirit while you gag your way through the liquid and mushie stages……..waahaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Hornbag explanation……for Dawn :)

Well, it all started with a top Australian comedy…….Kath and Kim.  America tried to pinch it and put their own actors into it….but it just didn’t translate properly and was a big flop over there.  I believe, from what I have read, that England “gets it”. 

I am not going to go into the whole show or anything……but go to www.kathandkim.com  and you will get a fair idea of what it is all about.  It is set in a Melbourne suburb called Fountain Lakes.  These two women and their relationships with family and friends are hilarious!!!  I just love the humour.  They get their words all mixed up saying things like effulent instead of affluent.  And pronounce things wrongly.  Kath (the mother) says to Kim (the daughter)…..”Look at moi, Kimmie, look at moi”…..instead of “me”.  Kath hates having a “chooky neck” and wears lots of lycra at her pill – ar-tays classes.

Kim dreams of being a total hornbag.  She lounges on her bed amongst her care bear collection and dreams of being totally awesome…..if only her husband was more “effluent”!!! 

Anyhow……that is where the hornbag comes from.  A little bit left of centre but tote-a-lee gorgeous in an “up yourself” kind of way.  It is just taking the piss out of yourself while being totally confident that you are the foxiest lady in the vicinity.  If someone says “you look roolly noice tonight”……….you say, “I BLOODY KNOW I DO”!!!!  A hornbag has attitude…..even when wearing a matching knitted cardigan with your husband whilst sitting in the shopping centre food court sipping chheye larr tays.  (chai lattes)  If you have someone over for dinner you would definitely start with little boys on sticks and pickled onions stuck into an orange on toothpicks.  And God forbid if you didn’t have seafood extender cocktails for ontrayyyy.  

I don’t know exactly where they got the hornbag word from.  I am thinking maybe………….well……………..you know how a man’s erection is sometimes referred to as a “horn”????  You didn’t ??…………..well, it is   Well, if you look foxy enough to cause that type of reaction……then you are definitely the right “port in a storm” for that “littleboy” 

Even so……………..we might be foxy ladies with they way we carry off a good taffetta number………..but it all boils down to the attitude.  You just have to live and breathe confidence ladies.  Believe you are something special……….tell everybody you are……….strut your stuff………know you have it going on bigtime…….and keep that smile on your dial.  If any B.I.T.C.H.  tries to knock you off your perch………………tell them to go take their “pussy bum” sour face mouth elsewhere………………jell-ooz-see  is  such a curse!!!!   Oh, and put the emphasis on the wrong words while you say it!

Now Dawn……I know you can’t wait to get practicing on being a total hornbag…….so I thought I might give you some tips.  Of course, it takes dedication…..and, like me, you may have to use your weekends to get a start on it.  Remember…..it’s all about the att-ee-tude and your oar-rah.  I like to get my house nice and clean first.  I worked like a slave girl today and shampooed my carpets and lots of other things………..then I could totally relax and work on MOI.

 

First on the agenda was a good covering of REDDISH BROWN to whip those pesky little grey nomads back into line…….

You may have to lock the doors and avoid standing near the windows for 40 minutes.  I chose to spend my waiting time productively by peeling the vegetables for that night’s dinner because you must be able to multi task and then totally brag about it if you are a hornbag.  I also tried taking photos in the bathroom mirror of myself with the colour in……because you must believe…………..even with a colour in your hair you look tote-a-lee HOT!!!!

 

So, now you are on a roll you might as well paint your toenails.  DO NOT do them in some pastel pale icky colour…..no, no, no…….   Fire Engine Red is the way to go.  Because even when you have size 10 feet and puffy ankles you have to show you CARE about and LOVE yourself sooooooooo much that no part of you is neglected…………….EVER!!!!  A hornbag must always be prepared….you never know when you may sprain your ankle and have to take your socks off!!

 

Now, I don’t know about you………………and I am harping back to the multi tasking here………………….but I think the ONLY way to get your nail polish dry in quick smart time is to wear something comfortable (like the PJ’s I have on in this picture).  Of course………..they MUST be style-ish and say something deep and meaningful like mine do…………ie:  ” IT’S SO EXHAUSTING BEING FABULOUS” …………………………and then hop on your exercise bike and pedal like the wind until the polish dries

 

Now, I know this is quite a bit for you to soak in all at once.  But I just have one more tip for you.  Relaxation is important in your quest to becoming the best Hornbag you can possibly be.  You don’t want to get all overtired and stressed and develop early onset “chooky neck” and “crows feet”……………..so remember to kick back and, once you have slathered your legs and arms in a roolly noice smelly moisturiser get warm and put your feet up for a while.

 

Also, remember that even when wearing a dressing gown you must consider the make-up of your ensemble.  I like to wear cosy warm furry boots.  Not just any common old slipper boots………I got mine at a classy shop called “Target” and they cost nearly $20.00!!!  I like the dressing gown I am wearing because it doesn’t clash with the colour of my loungesuite………….or the feature wall in the kitchen………….or the doona cover.  You get the picture   Some may call it beige and boring………I like to think of it as “sensitively subtle” with a hint of an “I don’t care attitude”. Plus, it is a really expensive brand that I got on sale.  I don’t tell people I got it in a sale………….A HORNBAG NEVER TELLS!!!

I like to call this photo…………….”Hornbag Reclining”

 

 

So there you go.  I hope I have given you a better understanding of what being a hornbag entails.  It was a miserable, cold, windy day here and I thought………….”What can I do to make the world a better place today?”  Then it struck me…………I will help my poor blog friends in their quest to become more aquainted with the meaning of the term Hornbag.  After all………………..even Hornbags have compassion and care about the big issues.

Ploise….don’t go clogging up the comments with your heartfelt thanks……..I know what it must mean to you to have such expert advice at the touch of a keyboard

Week in Review..or what I ate and stuff…

Well, just thought I would put down what I eat this week and what I am doing day to day…..just out of interest and so that you can see what a slack tart I am!!  I have absolutely no structure to my days.  I don’t count calories, I don’t measure out one bloody cup of food….I just wing it basically.  That said…maybe it’s time I did!!!!

I have been going OK since my last fill and at this stage I don’t think I need another one.  Some things hurt….some things don’t.  Some days I don’t even feel like I have a bloody band…..other days I hate it!!!!  Mostly I love it.  I do know I should get my arse into gear and stop eating so much shit!!

So…..going to start with today.  I am doing this at work because I like to live on the edge!!!!!  Well, today anyway……………………

Tuesday:12th May

Up at 5.30am………I am nearly always up before the alarm (6.15am) because my hip hurts   I don’t really mind though.  I quite enjoy my quiet time in the early mornings.  I feed the cat, give the dogs their smacko treat, make my coffee and turn the computer on.  I usually read blogs and comment etc for half an hour each morning.  It is a quiet thing to do so I don’t wake Ricky up until the alarm goes off.

Ricky gets up,…….another coffee with him.  Make our “play lunches” for the day.  He goes to work……I get in the shower and then I go to work too. This morning I didn’t make any lunch for me….because I only had enough bread for Ricky’s lunch…..I will get something on way to work.

Today I ate:-

1 slice of date loaf with margarine & skinny latte for breakfast (at my desk when I got to work)….doesn’t everybody have date loaf for breakfast!!??

1 small chicken caesar wrap between 11am and 12.30pm.  I picked the lettuce out of it because it was disgusting….not because I can’t eat lettuce.  So ended up with small quantity of chicken & the wrap bit.

1 small white chocolate solid egg that Penny gave me.  (about the equivalent of a square of chocolate )

1 skinny latte

4pm…… it is taking all my strength not to go to the vending machine and get a packet of Samboy bbq chips!!!!  I am going to make another coffee because that might stop me!!!

My work days suck!!!!!  I always end up having something “bad” when I am at work.  I need to work on this.  I haven’t drunk any water so far today…..bad, bad, bad!!!!  Raced home from work, grabbed Scarlett and took her to the vet for her 2nd anti inflammatory injection for her dicky knees. 

2 poached eggs on top of peas and corn.  I feel full…but still want to eat something else!!  Know what I mean??  Ricky working late tonight….another trap…..bored so I eat.  I might get sick of typing before I get sick of eating….. but I will be truthful

All right!!!!  I found some Weight Watchers Belgian Eclairs in the freezer……..find!!!!!  So I ate all three of them   It says on the box they are one and a half points each….so I don’t think that was too bad.  Not good though….shouldn’t be feeling like I want them.

So today…..no water, no exercise and no self control………..bugger.

Wednesday  13th

I love green…………….  well, actually I am writing this on Thursday…..but I think I can remember what I ate……unfortunately.  Skinny latte & fruit bun for breakfast at my desk again!!  Took about half an hour to get that lot down inbetween answering the phone…………..not because it hurt or anything.  I hate it when work interferes with my eating!!

Then I was in court for most of the day.  Got a quick break around lunchtime & I got a lowfat banana smoothie……it tasted like shit….so I threw it in the bin!!  So then I was running out of time so I grabbed a weird looking pastry & meaty type of pinwheel thingy & a coffee.  Ate half that and it started to hurt like hell…..so threw the last half away.  Then I am sitting in front of the Magistrate with Reagan and I am eyeing off the bin on the floor next to me wondering how I could hurl into it without the rest of the courtroom seeing or hearing!!!  

Not going to happen.  Reg (Reagan) knew I was having “difficulty” but all she bloody did was laugh!!!  We were sitting in front of the Magistrate with our backs to him and it is bad enough with two of us in there trying to control the giggles and writing stupid notes while boring hearings are on………….  she is whispering….”Chuck in the bin….go on!!”  I was just paranoid I would do a loud burp!!!!  Thankfully it went away and Reg had to find something else to amuse herself with

I have to say at this point that I am very, very fortunate to have great workmates and they are good fun and fantastic girls. (I have to say this because they read my blog!!)  They have been so understanding about the lapband thing and are always interested in how I am going and very supportive.  They have a wicked sense of humour which is right up my alley!!  They can call me Nola if they want………but I much prefer it if they call me Hornbag or Goddess…….which they do   I am the oldest and by faaarrrrrr soooooooo much more mature than them!!!!!!!!!!!!   Reg is my Goddess in training……..I am mentoring her

Oh….food……….Ricky working lates again, so only myself to please.  I had 2 poached eggs, about a cup of baked beans on 2 slices of grain toast for my tea.  I was starving!!!!!!!!!!  Then later I really wanted ice-cream and topping………but I had yoghurt instead. 

Thursday 14th  ………(today)

First day of my run of days off.  Showered…..out the door and up to the supermarket to do some groceries.  I like grocery shopping when I have the time.  Our supermarket plays really good music too….so I bop along and check out what is new or improved. I brought a Biggest Loser shake (already made up in a carton container with straw) and intended to drink that once I finished groceries.  Two mouthfuls in the car and I threw it out…..tasted disgusting!!  I seem to be having a run on throwing things away!  Then I went and paid the hardware shop account so I can put more on there!!  I LOVE the hardware shop…..I just can’t walk out with nothing.  This morning I brought a dinky drawer insert for my cutlery. 

Back home……….grabbed dogs …. back into car…..drove down to beach…..walked them for about 30 minutes.  Just made it back to the car before the rain came.  Back home….made coffee …. heated up a savoury muffin (small about the size of a cupcake)……….had two bites……….hurt like hell……….fed the rest to the dogs!!

By early afternoon I was starving…..so made a bowl of porridge and ate that with no problems.  I have a beef and mushroom casserole thingy in the slow cooker for our tea tonight and it smells beautiful.  Hopefully I will be able to eat some of that!!!!  I will be pissed off if I can’t .

This afternoon I have been moving furniture.  Ricky will have a pink fit when he gets home!!!  I have moved the dressing table back into our room, moved the wardrobe out of our room, pulled the spare bedroom bedhead apart and offered it to the neighbour, cleaned out all my old handbags from the wardrobe and offered them to her too!!!  Ricky will say, “You shouldn’t have moved that by yourself!!”  ra, ra, ra…………I kind of push it along with my legs.  He just gets worried………..but when I feel OK I like to do stuff And I am too impatient to wait for him to get home once I get an idea in my head……………………….

I am bored with writing my food down……………..I am not going to do it anymore.  I will just fill you in on any highlights like a public PB and things like that:)  I suppose I will post this anyway……………even though it is boring, boring, boring……………………………………………..at least you learnt that I LOVE poached eggs

Strength……….

Sunday:     

Love myself sick

Yes I do!!!!   You remember I got some 2nd hand jeans and trousers from the op shop the other week?  One pair of jeans was brand new.  They are Jeans West brand size 18.  They come from a JEANS shop and are a NORMAL persons size 18……………………normal, ya hear me!!!!!………………..NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    Not a “fat arse” 18 from Target or even a “fat arse” size 16………….. but a bloody NORMAL size 18 from a REAL jeans shop !!!!!

I have them on now . Granted, I can’t breathe and could collapse at any moment…………but damn it………these suckers are staying on all day.  I am wearing them to my Mum’s for Mother’s Day.  I hope they loosen up a bit……..but I don’t farking care!!!!  They are on and zipped up and these babies are staying wrapped around this ample arse until I choose to take them off…………….or collapse…………..whichever comes first

Monday:

I have been reading some other blogs where the tone is a little “down” to say the least.  Needing fills and getting the serious “munchies” and then beating themselves up about the fact that they need the band to give them the self control they feel they are lacking.  Guess what??!!…………….. I think you are all strong.  I think I am strong too!!!!

We were strong enough to do our research…….then strong enough and brave enough to go ahead with surgery…….then strong enough to put up with all the bullshit of liquids and mushies and burping and farting and people “checking” to see if we had shrunk yet.  We can have the band taken out again if we want…….but will we?  No farking way!!!!!!!………  because we are strong enough to drag ourselves through the “down” times and just bloody keep on keeping on towards our goals.  We just want to be perceived as “normal” weight.  Not be prima donnas and belles of bloody balls……just to blend in. 

 When someone asks “Oh which one is such and such?’ across a crowded room we just want the answer to be, “Oh, she is the one with the red top on over in the corner there”.  Not answer with, “Oh, she’s the large woman standing over there with those others”.   We want to be the “others”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had a “fat” week myself…………and yet, yesterday I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.  Then today……..I felt blah again and even ate a couple of chocolates.  I am not proud of that fact………but I know I am strong enough to rein this “binge” day back in where it belongs……………….as history!!! 

I guess what I am trying to say is be proud of yourselves!! It doesn’t matter how you are going about your weight loss quest.  Be it WW or JC or shakes or banding……… we will always have good days and bad days.  What we need to remember is that we are strong………….of course we are or we wouldn’t be worried about doing what we are doing in the first place!!  So even if it seems like it is forever two steps forward and one step back…………….at least it is still one step forward  

When we have “meltdowns”  or think we have failed………we have to turn our thinking around.  We have not failed…….. we have merely PAUSED to gather our strength. 

And keep blogging!!!  I know how much it helps to blog when things are not going too well.  As a matter of fact it is probably more important to blog it out when things turn to shit!!  Because there is so much support out there and there is bound to be someone who says just the right thing at just the right time and helps you gather your strength again for another round!!

 

So in the meantime……………………………..

Get our opinions first…………………….if you are being a stubborn dumb arse…………….let us confirm that for you

A mixture…………….

Have to get this out of my system first………………………..waahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Honestly….even if I had the flu I would smile at this one

Now I have that out of my system onwards……………………………………….

Last Saturday was my friend Georgie’s 40th birthday.  She had a hippy theme night.  I was home by 10pm!!!  My back seized on me and I felt soooooo sick I couldn’t even speak!!  So, that was disappointing because I felt perfectly Ok up until I didn’t feel perfectly OK.  She had a fantastic night though and I believe it took her until around Wednesday to recover!! 

My stupid bastard of a camera cracked a wobbly again and wouldn’t take night shots…………. I really must get a new camera!!!!  So, I ended up with a heap of blurred photos of us getting ready to go.  Karen, my sister, got ready at our place too.  So, here are a couple of blurry photos for you…………but you get the idea I suppose.  Just so you know……………I love myself sick with long hair!!!!!!!!!!!!  That wig was called the Farrah   Ricky’s wig was called the Morticia!!!  lol  I darkened Ricky’s eyebrows and nose caterpillar with my eyeliner to match his wig……..

 

The sister……..she was sooo happening!!……………..

 

OK…………you’ve had your laugh!!!  For most of the last week I have felt pretty Blahhhhhh.  I have been eating a little too much junk and slipping back into the old,

“Well, I have farked this week up….might as well keep eating” frame of mind.  It started at work on Monday and continued through to about Thursday!!  Maybe because I wasn’t feeling too well……………slipping back into the “eating the pain away” mode.  It can’t really be a hormone thing because they come in a packet these days!!  Anyhow I managed to shake myself out of it by Friday.

Had a great day Friday. Did lunch in Ulverstone (a smaller town about 20 minutes away) with Aysha…..(she is a workmate who is presently on maternity leave.)  We checked out all the charity and 2nd hand clothes places and I picked up some new jeans and a pair of woollen trousers for work for $3.50 each!!!!  Everywhere we went we found a bargain.  Even our lunch was fantastic.  I even had an old friend as a treat for morning tea……………a caramel mushroom!!!  OMG….it was heavenly and I enjoyed every bloody bite!!!    So good day there and it really cheered me up and lifted me out of that crappy mood

I brought this last week as well……………………………………..

 

yep……..I never ever thought I would see the day where I brought a piece of exercise equipment!!!!!  The last time I had a piece of exercise equipment was …………….ummmmmmm………………..get back to you   I actually quite enjoy it.  It didn’t feel like it was working me all that hard until I realised it may have been the cause of my sore calf muscles the next day!!  I should have expected that though……..after all………I did a solid 20 minutes on it!!!!   hahahahahah

I also brought a pair of PJ’s on line from Dream Diva that say…….”It’s so exhausting being fabulous” ….  I like to wear them when I get on the bike in the morning  

Today I had Mum and Dad and Ricky’s Mum and Dad and Karen and her husband for lunch!  I did a Waldorf roast pork (stuffed with walnuts and apple)……..I should clarify…..the butcher did it….I just had to cook it   Lots of nice vegetables and gravy etc.  I also made a bread and butter pudding………..lovely if I do say so myself!   I didn’t get a lot down.  Just a tiny bit of the pork and a few vegies….. mind you, the bit of dessert went down very well   It must have been OK because not long after I found Dad and Karen with their respective dogs, Alice and Gloria …..  all with full bellies catching a few zzzzzzzz’s in a sunbeam on the lounge.  Either that……… or I poisoned them

 

So there you go………….. hope you all had a good weekend.  I am going to settle in and watch the Logies now…. I like watching the beginning bit where they come down the red carpet and I get to check out what they are all wearing.  (Australian TV awards night for you non aussies)  More band stuff in a couple of days for you…………………

Thanks…………

I was just totally overwhelmed by all your lovely comments on Molly.  Everytime I got a new comment I teared up again!  I truely value all my amazing blog friends out there and thank you all so very much for your kind thoughts.  I just love my little blog world…….I like to sit at my computer and go off into my own “private” little blog land and read everyone’s blogs and laugh and cry at their stories and feel like I am a “real life” friend……as I feel you are to me

I didn’t even know blogging existed really until I made friends with a very funny and crazy lady on another forum I used to visit.  Beetricks (over on my blog list) had a blog and I went to visit it and that got me on the road to doing up my own.  I still haven’t met her in person yet but I just KNOW that we will get on fantastically when we finally do meet!!  The great meeting of the drama queens that will be   I wish I was filthy rich or could win tattslotto so I could come and visit all of you……… doesn’t hurt to dream does it?  I have always said to Ricky that if we won millions of dollars I would pay for all my blog friends to go on a cruise together.  How good would that be?!!   Holy hell….wouldn’t there be some jaw flapping going on on that ship!!!!!!

 

In other news………since Molly died, Flo the other cat has changed personality!!  She is the little quiet cat that spent the most of her day in her bed on the shelf  in our wardrobe and only come out to eat and pee really.  She always sleeps with me under the doona…..but only on a chilly night!!  In the last couple of days she has turned into a drama queen like her mother!!!!  Now she wants feeding three times a day instead of two and sits up on the feed table meowing until she gets what she wants (and she does:) ).  She has started coming in to the loungeroom at night and insisting on being nursed and getting all smoochy.  Maybe she is just testing the waters to see if being a single cat comes with benefits?  Maybe she understands Molly has gone and is just feeling insecure and has turned into an emotional eater like her mother!?  Either way…… I kind of like the new Flo.  I wish we knew what our animals were thinking……………….

Flo in her “bedroom” which is a shelf  in our wardrobe!!

 

And of course, we still have the other two rascals………………….who just know there is good stuff to be found when Mum leaves the pantry door open!!  A can opener………..our kingdom for a can opener!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks again everyone………………………………………..